What to do when all your friends are having babies

It’s been a minute since my last Ask Lauren post, and today I’m excited to tackle yet another reader-inspired question. This installment is one of my favorite ways to connect with my readers. What I love most about the questions that you guys submit has to be the range of topics that are on your mind. From friendship to heartbreak and everything in between, I consider it a good thing that my readers wear their hearts (and their questions) on their sleeves.

With motherhood making up this month’s LaurenConrad.com theme, there’s a branch off of the topic that has yet to be touched on. Many of you don’t have tiny people. I have always included content on this site that was related to my life events and what my personal interests were at that time. When I got engaged we created a ton of content around weddings and etiquette because, at the time, planning had taken over my life. And now that I’m pregnant we have been sharing a lot about prepping for a baby because it’s what I’ve been spending time researching. That said, if these post don’t apply to you don’t worry. Babies haven’t taken over LaurenConrad.com! We will always be about our favorite trends, recipes, exercises and whatever we are loving at the moment. I’ve been keeping track of your comments and suggestions, and one in particular has been reoccurring during my routine sweeps of social media. Here’s what one LC.com reader had to say:

Hi Lauren! I always love the content that you and your team put together on the blog, but with May centering around motherhood, what about those of us that don’t have children? All of my friends are having babies and that just isn’t in the cards for me right now. Do you have any advice on how to handle this? Thanks!

It can be difficult to navigate uncharted territory, especially if you and your friends are heading down different paths. A handful of my own friends starting having children before me and as soon as I got married, the first question that I was asked was “when are you having children?” Surprisingly, most people don’t automatically think that this is a potentially sensitive topic, but it really holds a lot of weight for a lot of women these days. While everyone has their own personal answer for this topic, I thought that I would share some tips for navigating the question without having to cross your own boundaries.

Have your statement ready.

Whether it’s their business or not, people will ask this question. The truth is, that even though it’s a personal question that you might not love being asked, it’s usually being asked because people are excited for you. Something about babies and pregnancy makes people forget that some information should be offered and not asked. I have found that it’s easiest to just have a simple answer ready for when you are asked about children. That way you aren’t blindsided and have to come up with an answer on the spot. If you’re comfortable with sharing your personal reasons why, then by all means go for it. But if you want to take the more private route, answers like “when I’m ready, you’ll be the first to know” or “I’ll tell you when the time is right” work too. My answer was always, “We are just enjoying being married right now.” Because, well, that was the truth.

Everyone has their own plan.

In a world of over-sharing, it’s so easy to get lost in a whirlwind of comparison and anxiety over whether or not you’re doing things the right way. Rest assured knowing that everyone is on their own timeline and that only you can decide what’s best for you. You cannot and should not rush big life decisions like this. And sometimes, it’s not even in your control.

Having a family is a personal decision.

Lastly and most importantly, deciding whether or not to start a family is a very personal decision. As in only you can make the final say. Everyone’s health history, relationship, and life goals are different, and that’s OK. Choosing whether or not to have kids is super personal and only up to you and your partner. Single parenting, adopting, deciding not to have children, waiting to meet the right partner to co-parent with—there’s no correct formula.

Ultimately, everyone’s experience is going to look different from one another’s. There is no right or wrong way to approach this new chapter, but just know that only you can make decisions for you and your body. Thank you for yet another great Ask Lauren question, and I can’t wait to see others that pop up in my inbox!

What would you like to see in my next Ask Lauren installment?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

XO Lauren

Photos: Valorie Darling for LaurenConrad.com