Here's what it's like to be the first one in your friend group to get married

Being the first one in your friend group to get married can feel like navigating uncharted territory. Most big chapters in life feel that way, particularly this one. But if I’m going to be honest (and totally cliché), when you find your forever person, you just know. And you want to dive into forever as soon as possible—even if that makes you the guinea pig in a sea of friends that are single or dating. Two roles in my life that I take seriously are being a good spouse and a good friend. So, can you be both? My answer is absolutely.

Having only three years of marriage under my belt, I know that there are still plenty of life lessons that I have to look forward to. What I didn’t realize was that I’d be learning an important one right off of the altar. Getting married taught me an eye-opening lesson when it comes to maintaining relationships. To put it simply, always make time for the ones that you love. If you’re having trouble finding time for all of the important people in your life, keep scrolling. Below you’ll find four tried and true tips that I learned firsthand after becoming the first person in my friend group to get married…

1. Merge your friends and spouse.

While most spouses are usually integrated into the friend group before a ring is in the picture, it’s important to merge your friends and significant other. Designating time for friends and spouse becomes a lot more manageable if everyone is acquainted and friendly in the first place. I love it when I can leave my husband in a room full of my closest friends, knowing that he can hold his own and have a good time without me.

2. Don’t put your friends on the back burner…

One marriage misconception that I’ve encountered is that you can’t hang out with your single friends after you’ve tied the knot. This could not be any more false! It was a big bummer for me when some of my friends began to look at me differently just because I got married. It’s true that your priorities shift, but marriage has a funny way of solidifying your friendships that mean the most. That being said, it’s good to come up for air during your honeymoon phase and spend quality time with your girlfriends. Make them feel like a priority because even though you’ve found your life partner, you’ll always need your girlfriends too

3. …But put date night at the top of your priority list.

Similar to my last point, making time with your spouse should be at the top of your priority list (friends being a close second!). My husband and I had completely opposite schedules during our first year of marriage, making any free time that we had together a rare treat. Set a day on your calendar each week or month to spend some quality time together, just the two of you—even if that means politely declining any other invitations that may interfere. Dating shouldn’t end once you get married!

4. Staying in vs. going out.

It’s time to put that registry to good use! I know that sometimes after a long workweek my husband and I are reluctant to go out, so we’ll invite our friends over for dinner instead. Making a meal or catching up over a glass of wine can be just as fun as dressing up for a night out. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going out as much as the next gal. I’m just saying that this can be a great alternative. Plus your friends can get to know your spouse in an environment where everyone’s comfortable. Win, win!

Were you the first one in your friend group to get married?

Let me know if you have any tips that you’d add to this list!

xo
Jessi
Team LC

Photos: Jenna Rae
Pinterest
  • Yes you are absolutely right with point number one.. I have noticed even among my married friends who seem not to be involved anymore with our friendship we have built over the years and even before one of them in particular met her husband.

    Most ladies make this mistake. Its good to have time for your friends who are unmarried and catch up either for dates or regular phone calls or chats.

    Brendascouch.com

  • Noel Fallon

    I was the first one out of all of my close friends in high school and college to get married. I met my college sweetheart when I was 19 and we got married at 23, about a year after graduation. I’ve tried to integrate my husband into friend groups, not ALL events, and I’ve found him becoming close with their husbands, he was even a groomsman in my best friend’s wedding! It’s definitely a new chapter, and we try to stay in Fridays together and then join our friends out on Saturday nights. 🙂

  • No one in my friend group is married yet, but I feel like we are getting to the point where it’s getting very close. These are great tips to keep in mind! I see my sister, who is married, and all of their friends, married and not married, still make it a point to get together as a group all of the time, and that seems to work as well!

    xoxo Mollie

    http://www.molliebellezza.com

  • I was the first one in my group of friends to get married almost five years ago now and still am the only one married. I found balancing time between everyone pretty easy and still value my friendships.

  • Bilingual Girl

    I’ll be the first one in my group of friends to get married and I completely agree that when you know, you know, and you want forever to start as soon as possible. Sometimes my friends who are single just don’t get it, and don’t understand why I want to get married at age 25. It’s kind of a bummer, but luckily all of them adore my fiancee and get along with him, and they’re all happy for us. This weekend is my bachelorette party!!! And of course all of my friends (single or dating) will be there for me 🙂
    http://www.thebilingualblog.wordpress.com

  • Kari Guastella

    These are lovely tips! I find myself in the middle where my friends either got married young when I was not really ready to understand it or are still single & will be for quite a while!
    Kari
    http://www.sweetteasweetie.com

  • Arlene Herrera

    Such great tips! I didn’t want it to end! I especially love the tip about inviting friends over for a glass of wine. Some of my favorite memories have been made in my own living room or backyard! Thanks for always being a great friend and making time!

  • I was definitely the first in my friend group to get married, and you can feel a bit like an alien in doing so. I actually thought I’d be the friend that wasn’t married for years, until I met my husband.

    But I think that because my husband and my dynamic is very best-friend-y – and less like obnoxious Parisian lovers making out over the water – we make it work with friends and just regular life balance.

    – Jen

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