Being the first one in your friend group to get married can feel like navigating uncharted territory. Most big chapters in life feel that way, particularly this one. But if I’m going to be honest (and totally cliché), when you find your forever person, you just know. And you want to dive into forever as soon as possible—even if that makes you the guinea pig in a sea of friends that are single or dating. Two roles in my life that I take seriously are being a good spouse and a good friend. So, can you be both? My answer is absolutely.
Having only three years of marriage under my belt, I know that there are still plenty of life lessons that I have to look forward to. What I didn’t realize was that I’d be learning an important one right off of the altar. Getting married taught me an eye-opening lesson when it comes to maintaining relationships. To put it simply, always make time for the ones that you love. If you’re having trouble finding time for all of the important people in your life, keep scrolling. Below you’ll find four tried and true tips that I learned firsthand after becoming the first person in my friend group to get married…
1. Merge your friends and spouse.
While most spouses are usually integrated into the friend group before a ring is in the picture, it’s important to merge your friends and significant other. Designating time for friends and spouse becomes a lot more manageable if everyone is acquainted and friendly in the first place. I love it when I can leave my husband in a room full of my closest friends, knowing that he can hold his own and have a good time without me.
2. Don’t put your friends on the back burner…
One marriage misconception that I’ve encountered is that you can’t hang out with your single friends after you’ve tied the knot. This could not be any more false! It was a big bummer for me when some of my friends began to look at me differently just because I got married. It’s true that your priorities shift, but marriage has a funny way of solidifying your friendships that mean the most. That being said, it’s good to come up for air during your honeymoon phase and spend quality time with your girlfriends. Make them feel like a priority because even though you’ve found your life partner, you’ll always need your girlfriends too
3. …But put date night at the top of your priority list.
Similar to my last point, making time with your spouse should be at the top of your priority list (friends being a close second!). My husband and I had completely opposite schedules during our first year of marriage, making any free time that we had together a rare treat. Set a day on your calendar each week or month to spend some quality time together, just the two of you—even if that means politely declining any other invitations that may interfere. Dating shouldn’t end once you get married!
4. Staying in vs. going out.
It’s time to put that registry to good use! I know that sometimes after a long workweek my husband and I are reluctant to go out, so we’ll invite our friends over for dinner instead. Making a meal or catching up over a glass of wine can be just as fun as dressing up for a night out. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going out as much as the next gal. I’m just saying that this can be a great alternative. Plus your friends can get to know your spouse in an environment where everyone’s comfortable. Win, win!
Were you the first one in your friend group to get married?
Let me know if you have any tips that you’d add to this list!