How to know when to move on from a relationship

There’s no way to sugarcoat it, breaking up can be tough. The thought of going through an actual breakup is enough to sweep your relational issues under the rug. While taking the easy way out or avoiding it all together may sound like the better options, sometimes a breakup is essential for your wellbeing. No matter which way you bring it, talking about breaking up and going it alone isn’t a very pretty topic to bring up. I’ve covered surviving a break up in the past, but today’s post is a little bit different. How do you know when it’s time to break up?

Unfortunately this is a topic I’ve had to evaluate for myself in the past before finally finding my soul mate. There could be a plethora of issues that are finally coming to a head, or maybe you aren’t feeling anything at all. Today I’ve put together a list of 10 signs that it’s time to break up. This is your chance to meditate on the answer for yourself, but I can promise you this: you will get through it. It’s time to put yourself first. Let’s hop to it…

1. When you argue, it isn’t productive.
Arguments that continuously go in circles are frustrating to say the least. While arguments are bound to happen to most people in some way or another, unproductive arguing on a regular basis isn’t healthy. It’s so important to meet each other halfway and to learn to compromise on issues that you’re both passionate about.

2. You don’t see yourself together in the long run.
Consistent big picture doubts are definitely a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore. On the surface, your relationship may be smooth sailing and going well. But if you your gut feeling tells you that it’s not forever, it’s probably right. Ask yourself if you’re just staying in this relationship for convenience or if you truly see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. Your intuition is usually right.

3. The people you’re closest with don’t think the relationship is for you.
Your family and friends are the ones that know you the very best. When you’re being over dramatic, needing sound advice, or someone to turn to that understands, these are the people that will be unafraid to tell you what they really think. Your friends and family wouldn’t take your happiness and wellbeing lightly. So, if they disagree with your significant other then they probably are seeing something that you’re blinded by. Maybe it’s time to listen up…

4. You find yourself sad more often than happy.
You should never compromise your happiness for the sake of someone else. Feeling the love from your significant other should only come second to self-love. If you find yourself consistently bending over backward to make your beau happy, it’s time to consider either moving on or having a serious (and much needed) conversation.

5. You feel more alone with your partner than you do when you’re by yourself.
There’s nothing better than feeling truly connected with someone. That doesn’t always mean seeing eye-to-eye or even having all of the same interests. Even if you aren’t exchanging words with the other person, you should feel a level of togetherness with or without distractions. If you’re feeling alone around your significant other maybe it’s time to either reconnect or consider if you’re better off without them.

6. They don’t support your goals.
Something that I’ve learned from previous relationships is that you should never let someone else put their goals and dreams above yours. Each person in a relationship has their ambitions in life and they should be treated as equally as important. Relationships are all about teamwork, and if you aren’t continuously cheering each other on, there’s a deeper issue here.

7. Your relationship is more convenient than anything else.
There are certainly perks when it comes to being in a relationship. Truly enjoying the company of another person should be at the top of that list. If cheaper rent, having your meals paid for on date night or any other superficial reason makes the list, it’s time to reevaluate. If you’re staying in a relationship based off of the perks rather than love, I think it’s time to go separate ways.

8. There are more cons than there are pros.
I’m a big fan of an old fashioned pros and cons list. There’s something satisfying about reaching a conclusion after weighing the importance of each side. I challenge you to weigh out what makes you happy in your relationship as well as the not-so-pleasant aspects. If the clear answer at the end of your list points towards negativity, I think you have your answer.

9. You aren’t excited to see them.
We’ve all heard about the honeymoon phase. If you haven’t, the honeymoon phase is usually at the beginning of a relationship or marriage where the couple can’t seem to get enough of each other. But what comes afterward…? When the honeymoon period fades, you should still be excited to see one another at the end of the day.

10. You find yourself unwilling to compromise.
If you find yourself not wanting to compromise with this person—whether in arguments or on big life decisions—then your heart probably isn’t in it. Any married couple will tell you that compromise is one of the ingredients to a successful relationship—remember that!

Do you have any helpful insight on this topic for fellow readers?

I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comments.

XO Lauren

Photos: Stephanie Todaro for