Ten years ago, The Hills aired on MTV for the first time. (That’s right people, it’s been ten whole years! Can we all feel old together, please?) To celebrate this anniversary I decided to do something I haven’t done in over a decade; I watched the pilot episode of our show.

Even though I know how it all ends, it was a little difficult watching my younger self struggle—I was in way over my head! It was odd watching all of us just starting out, with no idea what the future held (although, no one really could have prepared us for what the next few years would bring).

Looking back, I am grateful for the incredible opportunity we were given to take part in this show. While it was hard at times to share my personal life (poor makeup choices and all) with the world, the experience taught me so much and forever altered my life and my outlook for the better.

I am so proud of the show. Without all the amazing people we were lucky enough to have working behind the scenes (especially the show’s talented creator and Executive Producer, Adam Divello), it would have been just another easily-forgotten reality show. Instead, they made a show that documented—and at times created—my reality during those years in a unique and beautiful way.

As hard as it is to look back (other than watching the pilot, I haven’t watched any episodes since they first aired), it brings me a lot of joy to see that now, despite all the challenges we faced together back then, each of us seems to have found what we were looking for.

But, the real point of this letter is to say thank you. Thank you for all of the encouragement and kind words of support you have given me throughout the years. Without this support I would not be able to do everything I do today.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would like to honor this anniversary and, in the end, I just wanted to do something as a thank you to the fans. So I will be partnering with MTV on a special project that will air on August 2nd at 9pm EST. We will be having an honest conversation about what it was really like living with cameras for so many years (spoiler alert: it was super weird), sharing some behind-the-scene secrets, and showing some of my life today. And since this is all for you, please let me know below if there are any questions you have or if there is anything you would like to see addressed.

XO Lauren