In today’s Ask Lauren post, I’m going to share some tips that every girl can appreciate at one point in her life: How to survive a breakup. Heartbreak is one of the most difficult things to go through. Trust me, I’ve been through it myself. But surviving the breakup is something you can do, it’s just a matter of how well you do it. I recently read a quote that said, “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” And it’s true! Today I’m going to show you how to walk through the fire of a breakup with poise, grace, and as few regretful text messages as possible.

Without further ado, here is my breakup survival guide…

Step #1: Let yourself be sad.
There are those breakups that are so bad that you will need a good cry and a pint (or two) of Ben & Jerry’s. Let yourself have what you need. (Note: Hanging with Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda will help too.) Let yourself go and let yourself obsess over every little detail of the breakup and the relationship. You will need to do this for yourself. You will need to allow your mind to take it all in so that by the time you get back up on your feet, you know how you feel. The most important thing to keep in mind when you’re going through this first phase is that you should only limit it to one weekend. If it is was a really long relationship, four days might be necessary. But that’s it. After you have your pity party, it’s time to start getting happy again and getting back on that horse called life. After all, no one wants to be sad any longer than they need to. Which brings us to step 2…

Step #2: Then, cut out the sad stuff.
Stop listening to that emo playlist on repeat. (Yes, that means taking a break from Adele.) Once you’ve cried your heart out, it won’t make you feel better to wallow in your own sadness any longer than you need to. If you do need some time to think about everything again, tell yourself you will spend 10 minutes thinking about it and then move on. This will allow your brain to “schedule” sad time and you will feel like you have control over the situation instead of feeling miserable 24/7. Everyone wants to be happy—even people who get their hearts broken—so it’s time to start now. Pump yourself up by turning on uplifting tunes, watch a great movie (one that doesn’t involve a sappy love story), or dive into an inspiring book. Also consider this: If your ex is the one who made you sad in the first place, it might be a good idea to cut him out too. Try doing a 30-day “cleanse” where you promise yourself you will not have any contact with him. It will help you to realize how much you can stand on your own two feet while he realizes how much he hates not hearing from you.

Step #3: Catch up on sleep.
Chances are you weren’t sleeping soundly when the news of your breakup first broke. I know that I get particularly restless when I’m stressed about something or going through a tough time. Make sure you are logging in enough hours with your pillow by taking the natural supplement Melatonin, drinking sleepy time tea, or even eating sleep-inducing foods. Your red, puffy eyes will not look any better with dark bags underneath, and not sleeping will make the days ahead even more difficult than they already are. Plus, sleeping will give your mind rest from all the overthinking it has been doing and it will give you clarity about what has happened with your relationship.

Step #4: Get busy!
Focusing your energies on your job, schoolwork, or your hobbies is the best way to get your mind off of your breakup, or anything that’s eating at you for that matter. Now is the time to start making those major career leaps toward the promotion you have always wanted. Or, take your breakup as a chance to ace your finals. It’s also fun to try something new, like finally getting yoga-certified and teaching classes at your favorite studio. I find that gaining new perspective by volunteering or doing community service helps me to get my mind off silly things that don’t matter. Try becoming a big sis at your local Boys & Girls club. Getting busy will help you to focus on the challenges and adventures in your own life. It will also help to eliminate those moments when you are bored, thinking too much, and getting dangerously close to sending a (regretful) text to Mr. Heartbreak. Also, don’t forget to lean on your friends and family. They’re the ones who love you the most and they will make you feel that way too.

Step #5: Be your best self!
Now it’s time to give yourself a little TLC! If you have been down on yourself or feeling worthless, turn that around and start loving yourself again. Start showing your body some love too. The best revenge against your ex is looking fabulous. More importantly, it will make you feel great about yourself. Being lazy and eating junk food never makes a girl feel her best (the first weekend of the breakup is the one exception!). Get off your couch, get to the gym, and get on a healthy track. Sweating it out at the gym will also leave you tired and help you sleep more. Also, get your nails done, go shopping, treat yourself to a massage. Or even better, take your girlfriends on that trip to Cabo you had been planning to go on with your ex. You will gain a newfound sense of self-confidence, and you-know-who will want to crawl into a hole the next time he sees you looking fit, happy and fabulous.

After you complete all of these steps necessary to surviving your breakup, it is important to keep one thing in mind: have faith! Don’t become a cynic who thinks girls rule, boys drool, and true love just doesn’t exist. Know that this heartbreak is a rite of passage in life. If you can’t have faith that something great will come along again, then really, what’s the point?!

I hope these tips helped and I’d love to know…

Do you have any tips for surviving a breakup? What’s the worst heartbreak you’ve ever been though?

XO Lauren

Source: Cosmopolitan, Hello Giggles
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  • CS
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  • Tonnie

    Priest Ola, Here is my testimony from a Heart Warming indebted Client (Tonnie from United states) Sir i had to write back to you though I am at work now to let you know that your spell has successfully worked, and he has returned back to me just as you said it sir. A beautiful of red roses was just brought to my place of work from the man I contacted you about on July 15th. Sir i am so happy to tell it to the whole world now that he returned back to me through your powerful spells yesterday at about 6:00pm. Everything worked out just the way you said it. No more doubt. Because Lord Priest Ola realizes we were meant to be, and that we were compatible. This is actually hard for me to believe now. It’s really surprising!! Thank you so much Priest Ola for weaving you magical powers on me, and for reuniting me and my ex together with your utmost powers. You can contact him for help via email olaispelltemple@gmail.com

  • Country AMBER

    After being in relationship with Amanda for seven years,she broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring her back but all was in vain, I wanted her back so much because of the love I have for her, I begged her with everything, I made promises but she refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring her back but I am the type as as a man that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr OLA and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he casted the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all she said was that she was so sorry for everything that happened, that she wanted to return to me, that she loves and miss me so much. I was so happy that she came back, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: olaispelltemple@gmail.com

  • Linda Alex

    I had a problem with my boyfriend 2 months ago, which lead to our broke up. When he broke up with me, i was not myself again; i fill so empty inside me. Until a friend of mine told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too. i email the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening, not up to two days, my boyfriend gave me a call and he come back to me and told me he was sorry for everything that happen,i am so greatful to this spell caster and will not stop publishing his name on the net for the good work he is doing for thousands of peopl by helping them to solve their relationship problems.I know many of you have loose hope in trying to find a real spell caster but i want you to contact DR zubair because he is a true spell caster i am a living testimony to that.if you need his help,you can visit his email: zubairespiritualtemplo@gmail.com

  • prophet gbandi

    Best Traditional Spiritual Healer /Powerful Spell Caster Doctor Ayodele

    Welcome
    to the greatest spiritual herbalist healer dealing in all aspects of
    traditional healing such as: experienced in casting spells, astrologers,
    doctors, African medicines, herbalist healers, spiritual healers,
    native healers, philosophy, traditional healers, herbal remedies, The
    Native Spell caster is the most powerful traditional healer and spell
    caster with rich knowledge of African spells, herbal medicines, power
    magic, multi and very potent spiritual abilities. The native spell
    caster casts love spells, money spells, business spells, divorce spells,
    women spells, men spells, power spells and healing spells for thousands
    of people in Africa and the rest of the world.
    Have you come to a
    dead end in life, love, health, finance or business? If so I can help
    you with my powerful spells and herbs, just be prepared for a
    spectacular transformation in your life. Doctor Ayodele is a tried and
    tested native spell caster, with years of experience and proven success
    stories from people around the world.
    Contact: Doctor ayodele
    Email: doctoragardayodele@outlook.com

  • Joseph

    Revenge Your Ex
    Each day hundreds of men and women seek revenge on their ex-mates for a
    variety of reasons, usually because they got dumped or where cheated on.
    Revenge comes in many ways. It typically starts by using social media to
    vent, and then escalates from there. Now sites like “Get Revenge On Your Ex”
    for a fee will help you get pay back or revenge.
    So what is the best way to get revenge besides slashing her tires, posting
    nude photos of her and so on.
    The best way according to the web site Right Choices 101 is to live your life well.
    This is true no matter who you are seeking revenge on. Coworkers,
    past bosses, bad friends or ex-lovers. Put your energy into succeeding and
    enjoying your life, not wasting your time, energy and resources on revenge
    that can end up costing you much more. Plus, when you seek revenge, you send
    them a massage that you have not gotten over the relationship. It’s much
    better to show you are indifferent and don’t care.
    According to Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair, a service that specializes in
    helping men find young beautiful foreign women, “The best revenge is to date
    or marry a women 10 years younger than your ex. This will piss her off to no
    end. No woman ever wants to be replaced with a younger, more attractive
    woman. Just like a man never likes to get replaced by a guy who is wealthier
    or more successful.
    I will never forget one of my first clients we took to Saint Petersburg,
    Russia.” says Agee, “The client told me that two days on our tour was better
    than two years of therapy. Having hundreds of attractive women fighting over
    you gets your ex out of your mind pretty quick.
    I personally went through break up when my ex ran off with another man. But
    a short time later, I met a new lady who was ten times better. I ran into
    that man who stole my ex and I gave him a big thanks. In fact, I could not
    thank him enough. He was stuck with an older nagging women, while I was now
    with a young, beautiful, caring women. Plus, my ex had gained about 100
    pounds. I don’t look at that fellow as any kind of enemy but as the person
    who saved me from my ex and years of suffering.” This is the best a revenge
    when you win without lowering yourself.
    Other sites like “Get Over Her Now” give practical advice and tips for
    getting over a past relationship.
    Top Tips from Get Over Her Now:
    Start making platonic relationships with as many women as possible, old,
    young, skinny, fat, cute or ugly. This greatly helps you get back in the
    game of socializing with the opposite sex. And it opens up lots
    opportunities to meet their cute attractive friends in a more relaxed
    environment. This also helps you build your game and confidence.
    Improve yourself, start working out, get up early every day and exercise.
    Buy new clothes. Dressing better makes you feel better and improves your
    confidence.
    Focus on work and getting a promotion or raise. Don’t let a break up effect
    your work negatively. Put that extra effort into work and it will pay off
    with a better position and more money. This will also build your confidence
    and help attract better quality women.
    Any time you are depressed, improving yourself helps greatly. When you feel
    depressed, don’t sit and watch TV and then sleep-in late. Get out and do
    something that will make you feel like you’ve accomplished something. Take a
    class, go hiking, fix something you’ve been putting off.
    Don’t start drinking. Drinking will always have a negative impact on your
    life. Don’t drink while depressed or when you are trying to get over some
    one. After all, drinking is for celebrating. So if you are not celebrating
    something, don’t drink. A quality women is not going to be attracted to
    someone who drinks a lot or has a drinking problem.
    Don’t sleep in; sleeping late increases depression. Get up as early as you
    can and go for a walk, take a hike, or go to the Gym. Research shows getting
    up early and exercising can eliminate depression. You will have no game be
    depressed.
    Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she
    realizes she made a big mistake. And satisfaction comes when you meet
    someone so much better, you are glad the ex is gone. After all, if you are
    seeking revenge, how great could she really have been in the first place!

  • Don Vera

    I am here to tell the world of the good works of Great Dr Kumar. My name is Don Vera and this testimony is worth sharing. My man left me and my kids for 14 months to suffer. It was not so easy for me. I contacted so many spell casters who scammed me of my money but nothing happened. I love my husband so much but i did not lose hope and i kept on trying until i met Great Dr Kumar how he has helped so many people. I contacted him and explained to him. He told me not to worry that he will bring back my man in 3 days time. He consulted his powers and required some items from me which he will use to cast the spell to bring back my man. The items cost 200 American Dollars. I could not get it in my country. I sent him the money. He bought the items and cast the spell and to my greatest surprise, my husband came the third day just as Great Dr Kumar said. He begged me for forgiveness and he promised never to leave me for any reason. We are happy and we live together as one. Contact Great Dr Kumar now on: Drkumartemple@yahoo.com and you can also contact him on his website:
    https://drkumartemple.wixsite.com/dr-kumar Thank you sir for your help.

  • Don Vera

    I am here to tell the world of the good works of Great Dr Kumar. My name is Don Vera and this testimony is worth sharing. My man left me and my kids for 14 months to suffer. It was not so easy for me. I contacted so many spell casters who scammed me of my money but nothing happened. I love my husband so much but i did not lose hope and i kept on trying until i met Great Dr Kumar how he has helped so many people. I contacted him and explained to him. He told me not to worry that he will bring back my man in 3 days time. He consulted his powers and required some items from me which he will use to cast the spell to bring back my man. The items cost 200 American Dollars. I could not get it in my country. I sent him the money. He bought the items and cast the spell and to my greatest surprise, my husband came the third day just as Great Dr Kumar said. He begged me for forgiveness and he promised never to leave me for any reason. We are happy and we live together as one. Contact Great Dr Kumar now on: Drkumartemple@yahoo.com and you can also contact him on his website:
    https://drkumartemple.wixsite.com/dr-kumar Thank you sir for your help.