Ask Lauren: Dealing with Gossip

In my previous Ask Lauren posts I’ve talked about everything from how to handle a friend that’s ditched you for her new boyfriend and boy texting 101 to how to handle the “Let’s take a break” breakup and how to hang when you’re the only single gal in your group… Well today I thought it would be nice to mix it up by answering a question focusing on something I think most women have experienced in their lives: Being the target of gossip. It’s not fun and it can be very hurtful. Today’s question comes from an anonymous member. Here goes…

I am at University, or college (I’m from the UK), and live in a student house with roommates who are different ages than me—they all happen to be the same age, and I’m younger. We don’t tend to socialize with each other as I have my own set of friends, and they have theirs and each other. However, last night they came back from a night out and started shouting, which woke me up. I was completely awake in my room but with the lights off, and I heard them begin to talk about me. It was all a bit personal for my liking (especially considering they don’t know me well), saying I was ‘overly girlie’ and making fun of the fact I have a blog etc. I heard absolutely everything and none of it was very nice. What should I do?

First off, I am sorry. I think that at one point or another every girl has experienced something like this and it can feel pretty awful. Whether it’s through a bathroom stall door or via pocket dial, it sucks. Plainly put. It is hurtful and unpleasant for anyone to hear negative things about themselves from anyone, let alone someone they know. It’s really unfortunate that girls feel the need to be catty and criticize each other for being different. The sooner girls learn to stand up for and support each other, the better off we will all be.

I would say the best approach in your situation is a kind one. Leave them a note or, if you are brave enough, speak to them in person. Simply let them know that you over heard their conversation and it hurt your feelings. Hopefully, they will be more considerate in the further and not so quick to judge. Side note: Blogs are awesome.

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XO Lauren