I hope everyone is enjoying my Ask Lauren series. One of my favorite things about posting these blogs is the conversation it sparks in the comments. You guys provide so many great insights and offer such great advice. It’s truly heart-warming to see how this site has become such a supportive and nurturing place. I feel like that’s hard to come by online. Anyway, enough of my rant… Today I’m spearheading a topic that I think many of you might be able to relate to (and if not now, perhaps in the future). This submission was sent to me via private message on my profile page so our girl will remain anonymous. Here’s her question:
Two of my best friends just got engaged and my boyfriend and I of 5 years just broke up. It’s such bad timing! I’m 25 years old and feel like I’m behind now that my friends are moving forward with their lives and getting married and I’m back at square one (not that my life depends on a guy or being in a relationship or anything). Now when I go out with my friends on the weekend I feel like I’m always the third wheel and I’m having a hard time meeting a guy, especially because of the fact that all of my friends are in relationships and I am pretty much the only single girl left in our group. I work crazy hours and I cannot imagine how I’ll ever meet anyone at this rate.
What should I do? Not to be cheesy, but is it acceptable to join an online dating site? I just have no time…
First things first, NO—it is not cheesy to join a dating site. I have several friends who have tried them and while they aren’t for everyone, sometimes they are a great way to meet someone. I don’t think it’s unusual to be nervous about feeling a bit behind relationship-wise when you are in your mid-twenties. One thing to keep in mind while you are attending weddings, showers and other events celebrating your friends’ relationships is that these aren’t things you are missing out on. They are things you have to look forward to. I was in a similar place last year. Twenty-five, newly single and helping one of my best friends plan her wedding, so I know how it can feel. It can be hard to feel like you have to start from scratch when you have invested so much time with a person, but shortly after my break up I realized something: I wasn’t losing the chance to have love—I was getting the opportunity to do it all over again.
Another thing to keep in mind is that your best friends’ husbands have single friends and that can be a great way to meet guys. So let your friends know that you are looking to be set up. Lastly, there is no shame in being a third wheel. Don’t think of it as being the only single person in a group. Instead, think of it as having multiple wingmen (or women) with you and since they are all attached there is no competition.
What do you guys think? Sound off in the comments below.