Ask Lauren: The Pre-College Breakup

I received an overwhelming response to my first Ask Lauren post so this will be the first of many responses. Since today’s question was pulled from a message that was sent to me privately, she will remain anonymous. Today’s topic is a situation that a lot of women face at some point in their lives:

I’m 18 years old, and have been dating this guy off and on since mid-August. We were doing really well lately! I just had my Senior Prom and we had a lot of fun with all our friends both during and after prom. But this week he randomly stopped putting in an effort to talk to me. I was really upset over it, so I talked to him about it. He says that he doesn’t want to get back into the whole relationship thing again because we’re both going off to college in the fall. He basically said he wants to end it as being “best friends” who hangout a lot and still kiss and what not, but he doesn’t want me dating other guys. Do you think I’m just a fling? I don’t want to lose our friendship, but I don’t really want to be used as his “hook-up” either. I need some sort of advice.

I think this is a situation a lot of couples face when they are about to leave for school (or even a new job) and while it’s a hard spot to be in, it is nice that he is being honest with you. He isn’t leading you on or pretending to want something he doesn’t. He is communicating the type of relationship he is open to and that is exactly what you should do with him: Communicate the type of relation you want. Obviously this is someone you care about if you have been seeing him on and off for 10 months. So it’s possible that you won’t be happy in a non-committal and more casual relationship with him. If I were in your situation (and I have been before) I would really think about what I wanted and then communicate that to him. I know that sounds much easier than it is, but in the end, it’s always best to just be open. No relationship is perfect and everyone needs to do what is right for them, but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with me.

Do you have any other advice for our girl? If so, share your insights in the comments below.

I’ll be answering another one of your Ask Lauren questions soon…

XO Lauren

P.S. There are 3 ways you can submit your questions to me:

  1. You can also tweet me your questions with the hashtag #AskLauren.
  2. Leave your question in the comments below.
  3. Send me a private message via my profile page (there is a “Send Private Message” option located directly beneath my profile photo).

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