Ladylike Laws: Proper Party Girl Etiquette


It’s the holiday season, which can mean only one thing: It’s party time! Whether it’s a holiday soiree, a small get-together, or a fabulous New Year’s fete, knowing how to navigate a party with ease and grace is crucial. If your mailbox (or should I say inbox) is flooded with celebratory invites, then this is a must-read for you. Ladies, I present to you the Proper Party Girl Commandments:

Your Arrival

  • Thou shall arrive within the first 30 minutes.
  • Thou shall seek out the host and graciously thank them for the beautiful party.
  • Thou shall provide the host with a small gift such as a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates.
  • Thou shall introduce thy guest upon each introduction.
  • Thou shalt not bring any unexpected or uninvited guests. Sorry party crashers.

Matters Concerning Drinking

  • Thou shalt not drink excessively.
  • Thou shalt avoid mixing drinks.
  • Thou shalt not present thyself as a hot mess.

With Regards to Eating

  • Thou shalt not overeat.
  • Thou shalt not double dip. Ever. Ew.
  • Thou shalt not walk around with multiple hors d’oeuvres.
  • Thou shall toss used napkins and toothpicks in the trash.
  • Thou shall check for leftovers in thy teeth before engaging in conversation.

Terms of Conversation

  • Thou shalt not corner anyone into a conversation the entire night (unless he’s cute).
  • Thou shall avoid topics pertaining to business and other potentially unpleasant matters.
  • Thou shalt not complain.

The Departure

  • Thou shalt not ‘pop in’ to the party for 10 minutes and leave.
  • Thou shall bid the host adieu if it is an intimate gathering. However, if it’s a big party, thou shall quietly leave instead.
  • Thou shalt not overstay thy welcome. (Don’t linger… It’s creepy.)
  • Thou shalt not ever leave a birthday party before the cake has been served.

What’s the biggest party disaster you’ve ever witnessed?

XO Lauren

Photo: Alexandra Grecco

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Categories: Etiquette, Grow, Holiday Specials, Ladylike Laws
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  • Melissa Panici

    Haha. These are great tips! I’ve never actually witnessed a party disaster thank God!

  • Sarah Heckle

    Love these tips! Usually the party disasters I see involve someone having one-too-many drinks — just tacky!


    Check out our Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf!

  • Cherie LaFlamme

    Love your tips, Lauren… especially the one about not presenting yourself as a hot mess!

    How about adding a cool Native American-inspired sweater to your wardrobe for a cozy party look, or as a nice gift for a friend?

    – Cher

  • Tiffani Stuart

    Ok- I’m loving this, Especial the Ol’ Skool “”biblical terminology”” [thou, shall, etc] ha ha. As far as party disasters… I would have to say it’s usually people who are socially awkward. People who never know how to take social cues; for instance someone who is making an entire crowd feel awkward & doesn’t seem to notice or hoards food/drinks. #PartyFail

  • Andrea Gonzalez

    Haha I love this… My favorite one is Thou shalt not present thyself as a hot mess.

  • Stacie Grissom

    Haha! “”Unless he’s cute””:)

    The biggest party disasters I’ve seen involve mixing drinks. Good thing you’ve got that in the rules!

    DIY Bows < -- perfect gift idea :)

  • Juicy

    haha im loving all of these, esp thou shall not overstay thy welcome…… its so true i hate when you have people over and there is always that one awkward person that cant get the hint that the party is over

  • Alba Cuci

    This was thoroughly entertaining Lauren! And helpful :)

  • Holly

    lol love you Lauren, you’re so cute. I shall remember these tips!!

  • Tiffani Stuart

    I’m glad you put the one about “”saying adieu if it’s a small party vs. quietly leaving when it’s a large party””– I never knew that you were actually supposed to sneak away from large parties. I always have been making sure that I find the host, say thanks for the party again, then leave. The only time I try to sneak away from parties, is if I really don’t want to be there in the first place.

  • justmar

    i love this !!
    Unfortunately i have experienced a party disaster at my own bday party! my 2 bffs had decided to throw me a surprise bday party and but one of them got really really late -she came after the surprise , after cutting the cake… and she had no serious reason for being late….!!

  • Megan Alvarado

    Tips are always spot on! Lovin’ this!

  • Elena Last name

    Well.. In the small group I go out theres a couple that splited in bad terms, they actually looooved each other , and some of the boys invited the ex (wich was part of the group before and were previous friend but didnt hang out whit us anymore until a few months early and we got to know the new girlfriend)…Well…When we invited both… they brought their respective dates.. At the end of the night my classy girlfriend left the party… And we were a little bit ashamed…. The curious note? They ended up together, now they are a couple again….

  • Lydia La Fond

    Great information! I think it is so important to always remember etiqutte where ever you go, and how easy is it to slip up at a party? Good job posting this during the holidays!

  • Larissa Wilhelm

    these are wonderful! Thanks Lauren!

  • Shellz

    Very helpful! Check out my fashion post on the beautiful Zoe Saldana:

  • Lauren Avery

    lauren, you always give such great tips. I just wish more guys were interested in reading this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!! merrry christmas!!

  • Emily Edwards

    Thanks so much for the tips! Very helpful and funny, too!!!

  • Kathleen Kelly

    I love the “”thou shalt not present thy self as a hot mess””. Just the phrasing on most of these made me laugh. And are so true.

  • Kimmy S

    I really love this post! I love “”don’t linger…its creepy”” haha the worst party disaster i ever saw was when a girl in one of the soroities at my college got so drunk she decided to use the front seat on a party bus as the ladies room…lets just say it was the most disgusting and UNLADYLIKE thing I’ve ever heard about. thankfully she was not in my sorority. haha

  • Pocketfulofdreams

    I love love this post! People usually forget their manners when it comes to parties, I have wittnessed many unpleasant situations. Unfortunately, one of my classmates, back in High School got so drunk at a party that I had to help her walk all the way to her place. Very tacky. The latest distasteful moment I’ve wittnessed was 2 girls and 2 boys “”sandwich”” dancing (yeah, that’s something)… All in all, I love this post! And thank you Lauren for sharing! :)))

  • Kellie Norton

    Oh this is so cute and so helpful! The WORST disaster I’ve ever seen is when one of my friends was throwing a party and an angry ex-girlfriend crashed the party, grabbed a drink and threw it on one of my friends. The ex-girlfriend was horrified when she realized she threw her drink on a girl she didn’t know. Haha, oops! Let’s just say that’s the last party my friend ever threw :) haha

  • Miranda Worsley

    Doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun to me 😉

  • Jacqueline W

    Have you guys read the book Very Classy- it’s all about manners and stuff but it’s really funny too!

    Please follow ladies! <3

  • Casey Lynn

    Party disaster? How about the hostess falling asleep by the fire?? Seen that one…

    Poodle Shoe Girl

  • Brittany Zuege

    I think the worst party I’ve attended was when the hosts parents started to spew political hate towards certain parties. Politics, no matter where you are, is always a touch and go conversation. Especially if you have opposing views, which they did. It got extremely awkward as the majority of them started to bash a certain political figure, and comparing him to some of the worst tyrants of history. When they asked me who I supported, I politely declined, but then they turned away and said, “”I bet she supports him“”. Yeah I do support him, but it’s none of their business, and at a party it should not be brought up.

    I felt uncomfortable the entire time I was there, and the rest of the evening they kept giving me looks.

    • Jimmy

      I feel uncomfortable with “him” as our president!!!

  • Melissa Stehling

    the biggest party disaster i’ve witnessed and experienced was getting thrown down a flight of stairs when a fight broke out :( not a good night or a good party

  • Valera Ved

    Great etiquette rules, thank you Lauren.

    My favourites are about drink and food

  • Zo Zo

    Ladies please take note!

  • Tabster

    What’s wrong with walking around with multiple hors d’oeuvres on your plate? Like one of each selection at a maximum of 4 total?

    • SarahElizabeth

      I know you posted this a year ago but hey, thought I would give my two cents anyways. I believe she means don’t “double fist” hors d’oeuvres, meaning don’t have one in each hand. If it is a situation where you have a plate, by all means, load up! But when it comes to just holding them in your hand, you should only take them one at a time :)

  • Savannah

    My biggest party disaster was probably last Saturday. It was not so much a party as a get together of lawn chairs and Florida heat. I just sat there, eating my pizza, refusing to speak except to my mother (who was in equal disgust) and these two little girls.

  • Anne-Sophie

    i love lauren conrad. but this is the most patronizing bullshit i’ve ever read. last time i checked, girls didn’t have to behave like back in the freaking fifties. gosh.

    • Nicole

      What with manners

  • Hayden

    I hosted a Halloween party (costumes included) this year. I made plenty of edibles, savory and sweet, offered wine and beer, and had an outdoor fire on the patio for marshmallow roasting. Most of the people at the party decided to put a movie on netflix on our TV and crowded in the living room. So much for conversation and mingling! Not a disaster but it was a little awkward!

  • Carolina Mascitelli

    Drunk girls trying to get in the gentlemen toilette.. screaming for “consideration since they being ladies” couldn’t hold it for too long..



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