Hi everyone, it’s Alex. As promised, I am kicking off our new Wedding Bells series this month. Not too long ago I got engaged and I am currently in the throws of planning my own wedding. There have been ups, downs, and an endless list of lessons learned and I am excited to share it all with you as I prepare for my August nuptials. Today’s topic: What to do when you first get engaged. Enjoy!
Preparing for a wedding is like a full time job, even with a planner. While I’d love to say that it’s all cake tastings and clinking champagne glasses—in reality it’s a lot of planning, budgeting, along with a few headaches. That’s not to say it’s a terrible process (because it IS fun!), there are just a lot of details (maybe too many) to deal with and it’s important to keep your wits about you or else you could end up on MTV’s True Life: I Am Bridezilla. Nevertheless no planning process is perfect and there will always be mini catastrophes along the way…
Minor Headache Exhibit A: Tablecloths look lovely, however they will inevitably have ugly creases in them when you have a limited amount of time to set up…which is the case with most venues.
Minor Headache Exhibit B: You want to get married in a vineyard but they will not allow a full bar…and one of the groom’s only requirements is a full bar.
Minor Headache Exhibit C: You want to have an evening wedding and your dream venue has a ridiculously early curfew or 8pm sound restriction.
As you can imagine, there is a seemingly endless list of things to decide on and deal with—from linens to lighting to remembering to buy a pretty hanger for that inevitable ghostly hanging wedding gown photo (You know you’ve seen it on Pinterest). But before you so much as spend a dime on your big day (or pin too many images), I learned there is a list of things you must do before the actual wedding planning can commence... So what’s a girl to do when she finds herself sporting a newly acquired sparkler?
My 5 Must-Dos Before You Plan Your I-Dos
- Make sure your ring is insured. If not, get it insured—stat!
- Set a timeline. The second I got engaged everyone kept asking me if had I set a date yet... This question is inescapable so be sure to have an idea as to when you would like to tie the knot. I suggest picking your favorite season or time of year since you may have to be flexible in case your venue is booked on the exact date you were imagining.
- Get inspired! Decide on your style, ideal location, and overall aesthetic. Do you prefer modern, rustic, or uber traditional? I used sites like Pinterest to put together visuals of what I wanted my day to look like. (You can take a peek at my wedding board here.) My favorite websites to browse for inspiration are 100 Layer Cake, Style Me Pretty, Once Wed, and Ruffled. Just be forewarned that you can get sucked into these websites for hours on end. There are so many creative ideas out there! Even if you’re not planning a wedding, there are lots of cute décor ideas you can incorporate into your home or even your next birthday party.
- Set a budget. Figure out who is contributing to your wedding and how much they can give. This is crucial since it will affect every single decision thereafter. It may be a bit uncomfortable, but you have to get it out of the way as soon as you can so you can get to the fun part—planning!
- Draft a guest list. It may seem premature but you need to get a good idea of how many people you will be inviting. This number should be dictated by your budget, first and foremost, and it will affect a number of factors including your venue. It’s also helpful to know that most venues have restrictions on how many guests they can accommodate. For example, my venue only accommodates 200 people so I had to make sure our guest list did not exceed that limit.
Once you’ve checked the above off your list, you’re ready to get started on planning your big day!
As for me, I am getting married in August and am in the midst of planning my wedding with the help of an out-of-this-world-amazing planner, Ashley Bryant of Mein Schatz. From venue scouting to hair trials and everything in between, I’ll be sharing lessons learned, helpful resources, tips, timelines, and updates all along the way in this Wedding Bells series. Plus, if you have any questions, just ask! I’ll be looking forward to helping you solve all of your bridal woes and burning etiquette questions, too.
Whether you’re a bride-to-be, a bridesmaid, or a guest, I’ll do my best to ensure we're wedding pros by the time I walk down the aisle in August.
In a couple weeks I’ll share my wedding planning timeline along with a few insider tips on major wedding myths that are completely false.
Are you married? Engaged? In a wedding? Attending a wedding? Tell me in the comments below along with your most pressing questions. Anything goes!
Xx Alex
Team LC
Photo: The Long Haul
70 comments
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i'm the bride!!! my wedding is next june of 2014. i agree with all details you mentioned. i'm looking forward to see what actually happens on my wedding day as oppose as what i imagined. -
I'm engaged and a little clueless how this all works so thank you for your tips. It's guiding me in the right direction. Thanks again :) -
I got engaged last Thanksgiving and have enjoyed reading your posts. :) Keep them coming! I've already had two lessons learned that every newly engaged bride should be mindful of!
1)I thought I had THE perfect venue, even before we were engaged! Naturally after he put the ring on my finger, I called up the venue and put in my deposit. Big mistake, huge! I had allowed myself to be blinded by this "okay" location with a beautiful garden, that I didn't do research and find this even MORE beautiful garden (estate, mind you) with a GREAT location! It was half the price of my original "find" and a way better deal all over. My fiance and I ended up losing our deposit at the first venue because we decided the new place is better all over. Be sure of what kind of setting you envision yourself walking down the aisle on before you can pay a deposit!
2)My friend wore the beautiful dress for her wedding last October. When I got engaged in November she told me she had bought her dress for $50 (!!!!) on eBay brand new. Of course, I didn't take into consideration that she's extremely petite all over, so I decided on looking for, bidding on, and eventually purchasing my own wedding dress for $50! (I was taking too much pride on being a thrifty bride!) I loved it when I got it in the mail, but it wasn't THE dress... you all know what I mean! So I ended up buying my DRESS dress a few weeks ago. I mean, the original dress WAS $50, but still. Don't be impulsive on buying what you can then and there, rather take some time to really think about it and wait a week to get whatever it is you just NEEDED earlier.
Happy Wedding Planning, ladies! Best of luck to you all XOXO -
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Alex,
I am in the middle of planning our wedding in rustic West Yellowstone, Montana. Country chic with Mountaineer flair! Anyhow I'm having a difficult time finding ideas for a rustic groom look that isn't the typical suit and tie or cowboy boots/hat. Any ideas/resources?
Thanks!
Chelsey -
So excited for this series! I am recently engaged and will start planning my wedding later on this year. We are shooting for a date around this time next year. Can't wait to see all your updates, good luck on the planning! -
Great tips! Check out my blog! This month's posts are all about love and some on weddings and marriages too! http://dreamliveandrepeat.blogspot.com/ -
To Cotterpin: have you ever thought of having a close relative or mutual friend become certified to marry you, they can do that online. I think (religious or non) it is important to have an officiant who knows you well- it helps add that unique and customized touch we all want in a wedding.
I'm also getting married in August (yay!) my first piece of advice and most important is for every bride to open a free wedding email account. it helps keep info organized and is an account where your fiance can log in to help when he can, and keeps wedding spam mail and vendor info exclusive. This helps ensure work and personal emails stay clean. Plus, all brides need a bream here and there, a wedding email helps you keep wedding issues in a special place so you can deal with it when you have the time and energy.
:) -
I'm not engaged yet but my boyfriend and I have looked at rings and talked about it. We are non-religious living in the South. Any suggestions for finding a secular officiant for our non-religious ceremony? -
I got engaged past december, and I already have done the things that you mentioned. It really was so stressful for me because I like to have all perfect. My boyfriend is helping me a lot with the planning and one tip that's been helpful is that we talk about all the thing we like, that we can pay and the things we don't like and split tasks. -
I'm in the process of finally planning our wedding as well. We've been engaged for almost 3 years and are just now started to really plan our wedding. We're going to look at 2 venues over the next 2 weeks and decide everything else from there. I'll definitely be following along on this series.
Xo -
Actually just yesterday we set up a date for our wedding, and it is also going to be in August -
I am also going to get married in August and am really excited. My fiancé does not have the time to help me much planning so I'm doing it by myself well of course my sister and my mom and friends are also helping me a little but most of it I'll do myself.. We already booked the venue and next monday we are going to be planning on the buffet for the big day.
I am always afraid of having forgotten over something but so far it looks as though I thought about everything pretty good.. But we'll see how it's going to be in some more weeks :) -
Just got engaged Christmas Eve! The tips are great! We've been repeatedly discussing insuring my ring but still haven't made a decision. Also we've been completely lost on when to go about making a registry! Do we make one for the engagement party? Some more tips would be appreciated! :) -
Definitely excited to follow along with this series. I am going to be the Maid of Honor for a wedding in September.
I'm interested in a timeline. For example, what should I be worrying about at this point in time? What should I be helping the bride with and what should be done already? -
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It's never too early to get your dress... I had mine for over a year before I got married, and also bought my dress on my first shopping trip. For $250. (it was marked down to half price since it was from the previous season) I would caution more against buying a dress sight unseen (like on the Internet) than I would against a good bargain... of course, if you can find a way to try on a similar dress in real life, then go for it. As long as you're happy with the outcome, that's what really counts. One word of advice I would give is to keep the feelings of those closest to you in mind as you plan. It's inevitable that there will be differences of opinion on the details of the wedding, but how you handle the conflicts is what matters the most. And try to involve your families (especially the in-laws) as much as you can, or as much as you feel comfortable. You may not think that you're excluding them by not asking for input or advice, but they may see it differently. Above all else, enjoy yourself! -
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I got engaged a while ago and we started planning our wedding. Unfortunately, with the place we decided to have it, we can only invite a certain number of people. At first I thought it would be fine but it turned out not to be such a big number and I won't be able to invite all the people I want to invite. -
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I got married 3 months ago; so i still remeber how many time and patience is needed to organize one wedding, so my advice are: stay calm no matter what, organize how you really wanted, sate the date and number of the guests.
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Hi Alex! Congratulations! What an exciting time! I am wondering if you can provide advice for girls like me who are "waiting for the ring."
I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years and we have plans to get married in the near future. We are both 26, have great jobs, and have the stars aligned for us. BUT, I'm just chomping at the bit (not to him of course) in my head waiting for my day to come! What advice can you offer to girls like me so I don't drive myself insane?!
Thank you so much! Happy planning!
xo, Victoria -
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@merc - did the mother of the bride talk to any of you about a budget for the shower before she started planning? If not, she CANNOT ask you to contribute. She has no idea what your financial situation is, and to simply assume that you're okay with her decisions is plain rude.
I went through a similar situation recently with a bacheloratte party. The bride's sister planned everything without asking anybody about their budgets, and then was like "alright, that'll be $100 each. Don't forget to bring a gift!" Um, no. When a couple of girls started backing out because it was so expensive, she got upset because then the average for the remaining girls went up. But that was all her fault. She shouldn't have made assumptions for other people.
Bottom line, it's never fun to talk about money, but that doesn't mean it's better not to.


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