Ladylike Laws: The Magic of Thank You Notes
Call me old fashioned, but I believe thank you notes are a must. I cannot emphasize it enough. Whether or not you were raised to do this, it’s a good idea to get in the habit of sending your thank yous in hand-written form. Whether it’s a gift, an interview, or simply a note to show your gratitude for a lovely evening, there’s something to be said about taking the time to write a kind word or two. And I don’t mean via text.
Let’s face it—we live in a digital world where people communicate in 140-characters or less and are constantly emailing and texting. The stream for communication is non-stop and instant, which is why discovering a hand-written note in your mailbox is such a refreshing surprise. When it comes to sending a hand-written letter of thanks, there are a few things you should know:
Crafting the Perfect Thank You Note
- Use a nice pen. Forget pencil, or a run-of-the-mill ballpoint—instead, use a luxurious fountain pen or felt point pen when sending thanks.
- Pick the right paper. It’s been said that the weight of the paper is reflective of how important something is… Now I’m not telling you to send a stone tablet, but a card or piece of stationary that has some weight to it is a very nice touch. If you’re looking to send thank yous without breaking the bank, remember that you can always make your own using some watercolor paper, glitter, and a nice stamp.
- Writing the letter. If you don’t have a lot to say—increase your font size—you don’t want it to look like you have nothing to say. Also, always reference what you are giving thanks for and how it will be used or appreciated. And if someone sends you money, do not say “Thanks for the cash!” Rather you should tell them what you are going to use the funds for such as a big ticket item like a new computer or a trip.
To Send or Not to Send
- Gift: A gift should always be acknowledged in a hand-written note. The only exception is if a close family member or friend gives you a gift in-person and you thank them on the spot, then a thank you note isn’t necessary—although it is a nice touch!
- Interview: If you’ve read my blog on interview etiquette then you might already know this: Always, always send a thank you note after an interview. Pop it in the mail the second your interview is over. This is an easy way to show you are an on-the-ball candidate with excellent manners.
- Host: If you were invited to a lovely dinner party, it’s best to show your appreciation before you leave by saying thank you or you can bring a small hostess gift to the gathering as well. However, if you are a houseguest, I suggest dropping a note in the mail to say thank you to your host for opening up their home to you.
According to Emily Post, in most cases, it’s best to send a thank you note within two to three months of receipt of the gift…or the sooner the better.
Do you send thank you notes? Also, what other etiquette questions do you have for me? Leave them in the comments below.
XO Lauren
Photos: Christopher Patey for LaurenConrad.com
60 comments
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In my country it's not that usual to send thank you notes. Also, the mail doesn't have quite a good service, so things could be easily stuck there for a month.
However, muy aunt thaught me to write thank you notes and give them in person. Otherwise (if I won't be able to see the person soon enough) I'll just write a thoughtful medium-length e-mail.
It's amazing how great responses I get every time I send one. People always end up being thankful themselves, for receiving the notes. :)
Thank you, Lauren!
Love the etiquette posts! :)) -
I really enjoy writing thank you notes. I like the gesture behind it and the actual act of sitting down and writing a letter to express gratitude. I think if someone is going to take the time to give me a gift or do something nice/ generous, it's only right to send a thank you note to them.
http://fairestsfavorites.blogspot.com/ -
never fail to say thank U,letter or message,small or big cause just always remember the word THANK U.coz it makes a big difference and a lot means to someone who apreciate and hear of what u say THANK U. ;D -
Just a quick question Lauren, do you think sending the letter in the mail is better than giving it in person because I usually feel awkward when people open a card from me, in front of me. -
I love these. Written notes are always best in my opinion. I've actually decided to do A Year of Gratitude writing notes to a different person every week for the whole year. If you have a second, I would love for you check out my blog post all about it!
~Christine
http://xadayinthelifex.blogspot.com/ -
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Thank you notes are SOOOO important! I am in charge of hiring at my job and out of all the interviews I've done, I've only ever received one thank you note. It makes a huge difference and no one does it anymore!! Be one of the few!
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This book is great and talks a lot about lady laws too!! -
I would say instead of sending within 2 or 3 months, that 2 or 3 weeks would be more on point!
Cluny
http://www.clunygreyjewelry.com -
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I was taught to send thank-yous, even for the smallest gift. I especially mail them to my relatives who are out of state that I do not get to talk to or see often. A simple thank-you goes a long way! I wish more people did it - who wouldn't love to get a hand written thank you?!
-Amy -
Thank you for covering this topic! I have always sent thank you notes and was taught that they are one of life's necessary gestures. It honestly drives me crazy when I spend my hard earned money and time picking out a nice baby shower or wedding gift for someone and they can't take five minutes to drop a thank you note in the mail to show their appreciation. I have even sent them to seminar speakers in the past for taking time out of their busy schedules to come and talk to my group. It just seems right.
Thanks again! -Bethany -
I don't send thank-you notes but it sounds like a great idea! I will definitely start doing this! :)
- Amanda -
A must read: A Simple Act of Gratitude- How Saying Thank You Changed My Life by John Kralik. Very inspiring. True story about the importance of writing Thank You notes. -
it's always lovely to receive a little note in the post it makes you feel like all the effort was worth while xo
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I had baby showers and wedding showers this past year, and I can't tell you how many thank you notes I sent out!
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Great post! I think thank you notes are definitely necessary and just a lovely gesture.
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My Mom impressed on us at an early age to write thank you notes. One thing that I found that helps me is to do a rough draft so that I can get my thoughts and words in order. Almost always I find that there is a better way to express my appreciation than what came off the top of my head.
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I was taught by my mom and my gran from an early age to write thank you notes. We have the prettiest writing paper and envelopes used especially for them.
Love from South Africa
http://arumlilea.blogspot.com -
Great post! I think thank you notes are under-used but they are such a lovely way to show your appreciation. I sent one to my professors after they wrote me recommendations for law school.
I also love receiving letters. It's such a shrinking form of communication that getting one is very special.
(happy monday)
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I have definitely started to get into the habit of sending thank you notes. I think it is a nice gesture to take time out of the day to sit down and handwrite a beautiful note to someone.
http://allthatglitters.co.nr -
So cute! Great idea Lauren!
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xo,
Deanne -
It really is so important to go back to basics on things like these. I always appreciate it when I receive a card in the mail, verses an email in my inbox.
http://selfhelpyourselff.wordpress.com/ -
Totes true story!! We email and FB so often, that when something comes in the mail that is NOT a bill, makes my heart smile!! I keep a box of Thank You cards in my office at all times!!
AND... love your natural locks and the new length you're rockin!! GORG :)
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