Ladylike Laws: Restaurant Dining
Imagine you've just sat down to an insanely romantic dinner with prince charming. (Let's be honest, you totally won him over with your impeccable manners during the first date.) He's taken you to the nicest joint in town. Just as you get settled in and catch one another's eye, a loud screech interrupts your gaze: A woman at a nearby table drags her teeth along her fork. The sound is piercing. Next thing you know, the electronic tune to "Baby Got Back" fills the room as a cellphone buzzes against white china. WHAT IS GOING ON? No manners, that's what.
There are certain do's and don'ts when dining out. Things that many of us forget to consider. Below is my Ladylike Laws guide to dining out:
Arriving. Greet the host kindly. If there is a wait, don't make a huge fuss. It's up to you to decide whether or not it's worth it. Restaurants get busy and it's not the host's fault.
Napkins. Once you are seated, place your napkin onto your lap with the crease facing you. If the napkin is particularly large, you may fold it in half again. Never take your drink or begin eating without placing your napkin on your lap. When you leave the table or get up for the restroom, fold your napkin (try to hide any food stains you may have left) and place the napkin to the left side of your place setting. (You can thank the 18th Edition of Emily Post's Etiquette for these tips.)
Menu signals. When you're settled in, it's time to look over the menu. Once you have decided what you want to order, close your menu and place it in front of you–this will signal to the wait staff that you are ready to order.
The wait staff. I think a lot of people forget their manners when it comes to the wait staff at a restaurant. It's important to be appreciative of their service. After all, isn't it nice to be attended to? Look your waiter in the eye when ordering or asking for something and always say your please and thank yous!
Table tools. When selecting which utensil to use for each course, start with the outermost utensil and work your way in.
The bread basket. If a breadbasket graces your tabletop, tear off one piece and place it onto your bread plate. If you want to butter your bread, take a pat of butter and put it onto your bread plate so you have your own personal butter stash. Never butter your bread directly from the shared butter dish. It's rude. Finally, tear your bread into bite size pieces and butter as you go.
Turn it down. Please turn your phone to silent or vibrate when you arrive. And try your very best not to text or talk on your phone throughout the meal. If a call or text is particularly urgent, kindly excuse yourself from the table and take care of matters in the restroom. Furthermore, it's especially important not to try and draw attention to yourself in a dining setting. Translation: Turn down your volume and speak in a soft, pleasant voice. No yelling, loud gawking or anything other audible missteps that might turn heads.
Mind the purse. Believe it or not, you're not supposed to hang your purse over the back of your chair. I was pretty surprised to learn this. Apparently, you should either leave it on your lap or place it at your feet. And never, ever put your purse on the table. As for our male counterparts, wallets, keys and phones should not be piled onto the table either.
Um, you have something in your teeth. According to Lizzie Post, make eye contact with the individual and signal by lightly tapping your teeth or mouth. If all else fails, just let them know. I would definitely rather someone tell me, wouldn't you?
Fin! When you are finished with your meal, rest your utensils diagonally across the plate. This is another key restaurant signal that will alert the wait staff that you are done.
What's the worst dining offense you've witnessed?
XO Lauren
P.S. For more details on the intricacies of restaurant dining, I highly recommend the 18th Edition of Emily Post's Etiquette.
You might also like...
Party Planning: Say Cheese!
Ladylike Laws: Navigating First Dates
The Ladylike Laws: Manners Matter
Crafty Creations: Get Glossed
Photo: Tumblr
81 comments
-
Hello,dear reader,sorry bother your time,we can supply series of fashion stuff,
1. sport shoes : Jordan ,Nike, adidas, Puma, Gucci, LV, etc. including women shoes and kids shoes.
2. T-Shirts : BBC T-Shirts, NFL T-Shirts, Armani T-Shirts, Polo T-Shirts,etc.
3. Hoodies : AF hoody, hoody, AFF hoody,Gucci hoody, ED hoody ,etc.
4. Jeans : Levis jeans , Gucci jeans, DG jeans ,ect...For details, please consult
http://www.shoppingone.net
offer High Quality, Low Price, we are sincerely
looking forward to cooperating with partners
from all over the world, establishing a mutual benefit
and long term business relationship between us and moving
ahead with all of my dear friends!( http://www.shoppingone.net )
if anyone interested in,please come site to checking,thanks! -
My Mum and I were in the city eating at a cafe. While we were waiting in line to pay our bill, we both noticed a couples table nearby. All of a sudden the guy picked up his plate and licked it clean!! I was mortified for the poor lady that was with hin, but then she proceeded to run her index finger over her entire plate to scoop up the leftover sauce. I couldnt believe my eyes!! When we walked past them on our way out the door, my mum couldnt resist and called them disgusting!! :-/
-
not the worst offense, but I was turned off when a waiter cleared the table before I had finished eating. I think that waiters should wait for everyone to be done with their plates before clearing the table. I felt kind of lonely eating all alone... :-)
-
May I ask that you add in one final item? Don't forget to tip your server. The server wage is 2.13/hr so their source of income comes from their tips. As a guest in a restaurant, you are receiving a service. Your waitstaff is making sure you are taken care of from the moment you walk in until the moment you walk out of their establishment. -
-
My boyfriend took me to Lawry's in Chicago for Valentine's Day a few years ago. Our meal was deleicious, and the date was romantic. He'd been telling me he was going to take me to Lawry's since the second time we'd hung out (before we were dating). Anyway -- at the table next to us was a group of extremely obnoxious adults. They were so incredibly loud. I do beleive I threw a few dirty looks their way, but no one was paying attention to me.
I'm sure that's the most common offense: Not minding the other people around you who are trying to enjoy their experiences. I don't care if you're at a diner, a TGI Friday's or a 5-star restaurant; keep your conversation at your own table!
Please and thank you, of course. :P
-
But the thing is.. Where do i put my purse if i can not put it behind my cheair or my feet? I think is really tricky.
CAN ANYBODY EXPLAIN ME PLEASE?
-
-
-
@ Susannah- There's always a reason someone is your ex... and it sounds like you were better off without him anyway!
-
-
When my parents were in town last time I took them to a really nice restaurant that I found with my friends. In the middle of our meal we hear someone's ringtone "sexy and I know it" going off a few tables down. Classy...
-
my ex made me pay for a super fancy resterant. It was our second date. again it was super fancy resterant and i was in a very nice dress (LBD classic) and he wore jeans and a t-shirt. I used a clutch had my phone on silent. He put everything on the table i was so mad because he took a phone call from his 'buddy' and that took an hour. I was like that's it one more thing i'm done. This night is supposed to be about me and you.
-
-
Those tips are very helpful, thanks for sharing them with us Lauren!
Believe it or not, you're not supposed to hang your purse over the back of your chair, i didn't know that..... But now i know it! î... -
-
Wow I love the post!
I'm a Chef and usually see these kinds of mistakes when people came to eat, and what's worst is that most of the time who do that are womeeeen!! Sometimes many of them for have the attention of the table try to do more scandal about his movements, but we see it from another point, and note that it is ridiculous and ielegant.
I think most of us need to be careful with these situations, reading or taking some classes about etiquette. -
I work in a very small Fine Dining establishment which my family owns. We wash and iron all of our own linens. My beggest per peeve is when people put their cloth napkins on their dish... it is so very rude and just unnecessary.
-
What I usually do is to check the menu online so I already know what to order when I get there and how much cash I need to bring.
-
-
Also remember that you must wait until the food is served for both, to start eating at the same time
-
-
Worst offense I had to whitness: Someone eating food off the table at a fine dinning restaurant :(
-
Will definately be using these tips in the future!
The worst offense I've ever encountered at a high end restaurant was when my father and I had a dinner date a few years ago. We were seated, greeted and tended to by our waitress. But then, as we were waiting for our food, the waitress, as we thought, was walking to our table. Then all of a sudden she passes our table to the one diagonal from us and sits down... next to her boyfriend! And she sat there for twenty minutes basically sitting in his lap and groping him in, well, lets just say inappropriate ways.
My father finally notified the manager, who then escorted the waitress to the back. And then , well , we recieved a new waitress so to speak!
-
I think this post is pretty important. I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who practices good manners at a restaurant anymore, so hopefully this post will open some eyes! I can't tell you how many times people leave their purse on the table and text through a meal. So rude! Thanks for the great post!
Julia
Cup of Tea
http://cupoftea-style.blogspot.com
Join the Discussion!