Ladylike Laws: Social Media Etiquette

Ladylike Laws: Social Media Etiquette

Just because we live in the digital age doesn’t mean manners have become obsolete. Rather, they have evolved. Now that we communicate with one another (constantly!) through various social media channels, we need to exercise our best (online) etiquette now more than ever. I think that because we can easily hide behind a computer or phone, we often take chances online—behaving in ways we wouldn’t otherwise act in public. This can be great because it encourages us to take chances and be more forthcoming, however, it can also create a diffused sense of responsibility for our actions. In light of this, I will be going over the do’s and don’ts of social media etiquette today! Take note and don’t forget to share this post on your social media feeds, too…

The Do’s

  • Do remember that your comments and postings will follow you (long, long after they have been shared). If you wouldn’t say it in front of your grandmother, it’s probably not a good idea to post it online.
  • Do consider your tone. Are you a “Face-bragger” or complainer? If so, reconsider your posting strategy because no one likes a Debbie Downer or a pompous poster.
  • Do think before you tag or upload. There’s nothing worse than someone tagging you in the most unflattering photo imaginable. When you do tag someone or upload a photo of them, put yourself in their shoes and reconsider if you’re unsure. Remember that your online actions can affect others.
  • Do ignore. If someone is being mean to you online or says something you totally don’t agree with, just ignore them. It’s the graceful thing to do.

The Don’ts

  • Don’t overshare. There is a line that is often crossed and it’s important to remember where to draw it. No, I don’t care to hear about your bodily functions or sad breakup rant. Sorry. Some things are meant to be personal, which takes me to my next point…
  • Don’t get too personal. Arguments, feuds and the like are best kept offline. Personal attacks not only reflect poorly on the attacker, but let’s be honest here, no one wants to see it anyway. Also, don’t take things too personally either. If someone doesn’t friend you or tweet you back right away, it probably means they haven’t been checking their account as often as you. Give them time!
  • Don’t constantly ask people to follow you or like your page. It’s not only demanding, but you should let people follow and like what they want.
  • Don’t overload everyone’s feed. Nothing annoys me like someone tweeting 10 things in a row or pinning 100 images all at once. I’m sure more of you are probably not fans either.

The Golden Rule

Act the way you want to be treated online. And share this post—let’s spread the word! (You can use the social media icons at the bottom of this post to share it in a snap.)

What are your biggest social media pet peeves? Sound off below!

XO Lauren

Photo: Tumblr

Categories: Contributors, Etiquette, Grow, Ladylike Laws, Lauren Conrad
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  • Monica_in_Heels

    Great post! Personally, it annoys me when I’ll start a blog.. and then all of my friends copy the idea and start ones of their own and everyday.. they’ll ask me “”how did you get that on your blog”” or “”how do you do this…etc””

    http://www.monicainheels.com

  • Erin Falacho

    My social media pet peeves are when people are so judgmental and say negative things. I started to unfollow them. I like to see positivity in my life so I don’t want to see those on social media.

  • Rachel B.

    I love this post because everything about it is so true! I do not overtweet because it’s annoying and I definitely do not shove my blog down anyone’s throat. Personal situations should definitely be kept personal as well, great post!!

  • Erin Falacho

    Yeah I know the feeling when someone want to copy. I have tons of people that want to try take same photos as I post on Instagram.

  • Meaghan Farley

    I strongly dislike when girls post 50 “”selfie”” pictures a day. We all know what you look like, and I’m pretty sure much hasn’t changed since yesterday!!

  • Liesl

    I think many people can learn a lot from this post! It’s really sad to see sometimes how people behave online, saying mean things and hiding behind a computer screen.

    I love social networking and always try my best to be positive and uplifting. I can’t stand all the negativity online.

    Liesl xxx
    http://www.pretty-random-things.com

  • Lily P.

    I couldn’t agree more Lauren.Seriously!
    I hate that sick habit of people posting all the time,uploading thousands of photos and exposing their personal lives online..
    I never did it and never will try to it’s completely stupid and with no benefits..
    If someone wants to know you better it can always happen in person!
    xo
    Lily

  • Amy Breckenridge

    i totally agree!! i hate when people put everything on facebook and carry on full out conversations or announce really personal news (engagements, babies). what happened to seeing people face to face? or giving them a call? it drives me nuts!
    xoamy
    http://www.cupcakesncouture.com/2013/03/splurge-vs-steal-floral-print-pumps.html#

  • Amanda Gongleski

    I cannot stand when people start vague-booking!!! Like they will post something like “”so upset right now, I can’t believe this is happening”” … like waiting for someone to respond and be all concerned, then when someone does.. “”I don’t want to talk about it..”” Then WHY post it at all?!

    Also, I’m totally guilty of going pin-crazy at times. I don’t even realize it until I click “”home”” and see all my pins clogging my own feed! Whoopsies! In my defense though, I only pin things that I truly like, think are funny, or are interesting! (Doesn’t everyone claim that though?)

    :)

  • Maria Murad

    My pet-peeves are when people over share, constant selfies, and posting tons of depressing quotes. Everything should be in moderation and the social media isn’t a free therapy session! :)

  • Sarah Roesch

    I’m guilty of the over pinning as well. I don’t use Pinterest that often, but when I do I go nuts. I’m also considerate enough not to link my Pinterest to any other accounts. That is also a peeve of mine. No one needs to see your depressing post on Twitter, Facebook, and an even longer version on the dredded tumblr. ;)

  • Amber Bullington

    It bothers me when people don’t bother to check their posts for grammar or spelling errors. It makes you look ignorant and foolish to post poorly written items.

  • Shirkdesigns

    A lot of those DON’Ts are why I have distanced myself from social media. I now only use it for my business and comments are then sometimes rude. I’m a firm believer that if you have nothing nice to say… Keep it to yourself.

  • Nancy Gray

    Posts insulting an opposite political party. A lot of my facebook friends post about how stupid or insane my beliefs are and I delete them. Keep the posts positive please!

  • Ning Fathia

    The compliment fishers!! Post a cute selfie with obvious cleavage and write something like “”I hate my looks”” or “”I’m so ugly and fat”” and come pouring the compliments… “”No you are not, you are perfect!! You are beautiful, girl”” and so on.

    Also the suicidal notes like “”I’m not worthy, can I just please die?”” All the amateur therapists pop up to comment … You might want to seek professional help than posting it online, in my opinion.

    Attention seekers like these types are my pet peeves!

  • Maggs McBroom

    Great post Lauren & team!

  • Bev

    and DO NOT post when you are arguing or disagreeing with your spouse/GF/BF!! It looks pretty DUMB when you post tweets about how you love him so, and then the next tweet says you can’t wait to be alone! WOMP

  • Camille

    A FB friend once posted every detail of her NuvaRing experience. She would post that she was getting one, asked for feedback on others; experiences with them, and even mentioned that hers got STUCK. This spanned over the course of at least 1 year. She constantly got [supportive] comments on it. Am I wrong to think this is totally pushing the boundaries?!

    http://www.camillenochaser.blogspot.com

  • Alyssa

    These do’s and don’ts are SO true. One of my biggest online pet peeves is when people get too personal on their Twitter or Facebook accounts.

    http://www.alyssamarierose.com

  • Ashley Rizzardo

    This is a great post. One of my biggest social media pet peeves is the DRAMA! So many catfights and biting comments. Leave that in high school please!

    http://allthatglitters.co.nr

  • Miri

    Everyone, not just women, need to take these into consideration. I see a lot of negativity & drama amongst social networks. It’s petty. Think before you act!

  • Cluny Grey

    So true! One thing that really bothers me are all the pictures of children that are put on Facebook with addresses that are easy to find. These are going to be on there forever, and if I can see them on someone’s public feed so can every sicko! I wish people would be more careful of their children’s images (and their names are right there, too, of course!).
    Cluny
    http://jewelrytrends.blogspot.com

  • KASHISapparel

    Yes, I agree. That’s why i too only use it for business purposes. Even then I wish I didn’t need to rely so much on social media. But it can be fun too. Just gotta know on which ones to keep scrolling.

  • Franci Gire
  • Renuka

    This is a great reminder! And one that should be in the forefront of our minds prior to every post we make online!

    http://www.pocketfulofperspective.tumblr.com

  • My Style Diary

    Great post, I shared it on twitter!

    http://mystylediaryblogspot.blogspot.com/

  • Diamenrose

    That’s really good that you are writing about this ‘issue’ :) Too many people use twitter and fb as a diary. There is nothing wrong with this however it can get really annoying(when you post everday,every second what are you doing where you are bblba) It can be even dangerous for you. Besides of that many people seem to forget that sometimes (e.g companies) look for some information about you. So when you put personal things on this social media you should be really really careful. By the way is it really really really true that once you have delete something on FB it will be there forever? Nice topic :)

  • Gisselli

    Uh-oh, guilty of a few! Thanks for the tips =]

  • Natasha Hussain

    I totally get what you’re saying and agree with most of these. However, at the same time, just like people should be able to “”like”” and “”follow”” who they want, they should be able to say what they want. If someone tweets ten things in a row.. You don’t have to follow them. If they want to be moronic or depressed – it is annoying, but you have the option to unfollow or friend and no one’s making you stay!

  • redheadrachel

    Great post, Lauren! I think there are too many people these days that just share too much on social networking sites. There are just some things we don’t need to know about! Plus, you never know who could see it! Inappropriate comments or photos could hurt you if your employer or a potential employer sees it!

    Rachel
    http://www.theredheadfashionista.com
    http://www.thehautenotes.com

  • Jackie

    Lol @ the tumblr part!

    So guilty of obsessive pinning… But I only follow people who pin like me so maybe it’s to each his/her own. Idk.

  • Ashley McDougall

    I completely agree with and love this post! I think it’s something that everyone should take into consideration when part of the online community. I see on my facebook and twitter way too often that girls and boys are taking “”underlying”” stabs at each other and too often people know what’s going on in their personal lives. Good job Lauren for addressing it! :)

  • Stephanie Fay

    I agree. Keep things classy! :) I like to think of my website and blog as a journal but I don’t think anyone wants to read about TOO much personal info. Well said :)

  • hailssome

    Such a nice little piece! I think sometimes some girls forget somethings are better left unsaid or tweeted. lol

  • visual_vocab

    I agree with everything except the pinterest thing; I use it for work, and I don’t have time to pace out my pinning or to think about how my 2000+ followers will feel about me pinning too much in a row! That strategy might be good for some people, but, honestly, I can’t let what my followers think get in the way of my work. Right?! I do try to use private boards (now that they exist) when I first create one and go on a pinning spree, but after that, I don’t know what else I could do!

  • Jade Wright

    Such a nice post! I often wonder if my lifestyle posts are slightly too personal but everyone seems to love them and gets inspired by them.

    Thanks for the tips!

    http://www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

  • Deanne Castro

    Thanks for sharing this! It is very helpful!

    For more on fashion and beauty, please check out my blog; MyFashAvenue.com

    Follow me on Twitter and Pinterest: @MyFashAvenue

    xo

    Deanne

  • Kelby Peachey

    If you can’t say it out loud in a public library or bank, it probably isn’t appropriate for Social Media.

    -Kelby
    http://peachypains.com

  • Tiffani Stuart

    Rules to Post by… ;0)

  • Annie

    “”Don’t get too personal. Arguments, feuds and the like are best kept offline. Personal attacks not only reflect poorly on the attacker, but let’s be honest here, no one wants to see it anyway””

    I think this hits very close to home. I have a friend that makes jabs on Facebook statuses all the time but won’t name the person they’re upset at. So its very passive aggressive and you’re right, it makes the other person look bad!

    http://annezca.blogspot.com

  • tiffany newman

    i usually don’t post anything up unil like 4 days from the other posting because i don’t like over posting things to me thats to many times that i feel I’m posting up things. i don’t put up anything that is my own thing to worry about nobody has to read about my life.

  • Anna

    Where’s your favorite place to get basic t-shirts? My favorite used to be forever 21 but they lose their shape and shade so quickly you have to buy a new one every few wears. I LOVE everlane’s tees and have been ordering them ever since Lo Bosworth tweeted about them last winter. They’re sustain their color and are relatively cheap ($15) compared to constantly repurchasing F21 ones.

    https://www.everlane.com/n/2vmxgw

    Have you found good tees and from where?!

  • Kylie Miller

    Great post! I agree completely. I hate when people use Facebook as their diary. Check out my blog: http://thechicstreetblog.blogspot.com/

  • Emily

    very true! i agree with all of them :)
    xx

    http://be-lieveinyou-rself.blogspot.co.uk/

  • NoHandStand

    Social Media
    etiquette Your view of it pretty! My opinion, “”How you doing…”” Obviously your parents are basing high school love over GROWTH so the Ladylike Law:
    Do’s and Don’s It’s (your choice) Personally I change feelings freely better then comment post do’sand don’ts … BUT L.A ISN’T PARIS!!!

    Sincerely,
    Volume

    P.S
    TeamDriod

  • Andi

    Hi Lauren
    I think you’re a doll, and are completely appropriate in style and candor for my daughter of 19, but I am 51, and although I would love to take all of your advice because it is so fun, it’s not always age appropriate for me. Can you please suggest a blog or website that I might sign up for that is more inline with say what your mom, or someone her age (although, I expect she’s younger than I)might better benefit from? Thanks!
    Andi

  • Hannah

    How should i dress for a new friends bday party is a water balloon party

  • Caitlyn

    I would suggest Gwenyth Paltrow’s blog, http://www.goop.com, she’s a little bit older, a mother, wife, so she would probably have more advice on things you are interested in!

    Caitlyn

  • Aurora

    How can i act towards rude people when they say mean things to my face without showing anger or that they got into me?

  • Andi

    Thanks, Caitlyn! I will definitely check out goop.com.
    Andi

  • Andi

    Hi Caitlyn
    I just checked out Goop. It’s nice, but, boy, it’s way out of my range. I’m a single mom. It’s really just kind of depressing. I am in no way able to even consider the items she is suggesting. Any other suggestions?

  • yasmeenh

    that is sooo true!..I love you so much lauren ..you r such an inspiration..cheers from baghdad :)

  • Emily

    My biggest pet peeve would have to be when people share TOO much like you said. Don’t give me a reason to unfollow you!

  • jennaxo

    I love this! So true!

  • GracieGracie McGreevy

    I hate it when people post pictures of themselves saying “”I am so ugly””. They are only degrading themselves and begging for attention.

  • Lisa G.

    some people on my facebook should read this, one of my bff’s on there is quite the complainer. :P although the twitter thing I’ve posted a ton of tweets during an award show and I didn’t really care, haha

  • Stephanie Donahue

    So, I just read this post after this morning’s email about minding your Ps and Qs and am mortified.
    I just happened to see LC in Nantucket this past weekend and prided myself for not going over to her and bothering her on her vacation. However, in my retrospective regret that I didn’t say hi, I posted a picture of her that I snapped on Instagram. Now I am questioning my own social media Ps and Qs. Any suggestions about how to best handle seeing a celebrity out in public?

  • Rachel Elkins

    I agree with people constantly asking you to follow them or to like their page. It seems so pushy and I’m more likely to not follow them or like them to be honest! My biggest social media pet peeve is when people post pictures of themselves on Facebook or Instagram but they caption it, “”I’m so ugly.”” It drives me crazy because they’re just begging for attention and making themselves feel bad about themselves. But I think so many people need to see this!
    xo, Rachel

  • shel billett

    my pet peeve is when people aren’t really in the moment – updating their online profiles and missing out on the experience. also phones on the table…makes your guest/companion feel like you are waiting for a better offer and not really listening. x

  • Nicole Maria

    Follow twitter.com/LawsOfALady for ladylike tips and rules. It my fave :) Xx

  • Emily

    This is one of my favorite Ask Lauren posts. It’s so relevant to the world today, and every lady (even a few men) should read this and apply it to their online lives! As always, Lauren has given some great advice when it comes to life and tips on how to live it!

    xoxo :)

  • eva kalenska

    yeah you are right.
    I also cannot stand it when people are always asking me to visit their page or like their posts or even help them win contests…Well, that last part I might have done it once when I really wanted to win this huge contest and needed votes :x But anyway, when it is constantly done, it becomes a pet peeve! And my biggest one might probably be people sharing too much of their lives online or when talking to everyone else. Neither I nor anyone else need to know every single detail of your life – Keep it personal!

  • Haley stroud

    I think it’s inappropriate to leave comments that reflect demeaning, irrational and in the moment jester type comments about people. I think that is so nasty!! :(

  • Whitney @ To live & diet in L.a.

    I can’t stand when people write really vague, depressing comments like: “”Why does it have to hurt so bad?”” If it really hurts so bad, reach out to a friend or professional. Don’t broadcast it on FB.

    xo – Whitney @ To Live & Diet in L.A. http://liveanddiet.com

  • amyj

    Religion and Politics! Especially pushy or ugly comments. Also no more game requests! I don’t need to know if you have a sinus infection and can’t sleep…….

  • katie at Miss enchanting

    Great post!

    I can’t stand the ‘I’m feeling sorry for myself and want everyone to give me sympathy for no reason other than I want attention’ posts! Grrr…!

    Katie x
    http://missenchanting.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Katherine S

    Personally, I like when the people I follow pin a million things in a row. I follow them because I want to see what interests them… so it gets boring if they don’t post anything!

    • Hilary

      I totally agree! What fun is Pinterest if nobody pins anything or people try to limit their pins? If I don’t like what somebody is pinning, I unfollow their board!

    • Hannah

      I agree but Pinterest is very different than Twitter or Instagram!

  • nicole Smith

    I couldn’t agree more.

  • Danni Jean

    I really do agree with these rules.

  • Bianca

    One of my pet peeves is when people are constantly

    posting about how much they love their SO, it’s almost always so generic it could be on a Hallmark card, and it seems like its all they post. I realize that different people have different ways of expressing their feelings, but when it’s near constant in the most public way possible, it makes me wonder if they are “so in love” with “the best man on the whole entire planet” or if they just want to show people that they are.

  • Gen Kelly

    Something that really bothers me is everyone’s complete disregard for grammar on social media! Hearing people say “Oh, who cares, it’s just Facebook” is so aggravating! No matter where you are posting, I feel as though it is really important to be mindful of your spelling and grammar, you never know who is reading!

    • Claire

      Agreed. People who say “Oh, who cares, it’s just Facebook” get into the habit of disregarding grammar, and their writing and communication skills suffer a lot. I understand perfect grammar isn’t everything, but the level of professionalism drops when they make big errors all of the time.

  • Kristinkles

    I agree with 99% of these… with the exception of the Pinterest overshare. I pin to remind myself of things that I want to buy or reference in the future – it’s really not for people who follow me. Other than that, spot on!

  • meggs

    I’d like to add…posting people’s vows and ceremony photos during the wedding ceremony…is a huge no no in my book! As well as not asking parents’ permission before posting pictures of their children online.

  • Carrie Reid

    I totally agree with this and everyones wonderful comments! It’s great to know I am not alone in thinking this way. It seems more and more people use Facebook in this manner. I felt like I was a minority in thinking this. As always great post!

  • LauriePaurie

    Aw, I really love LC, but the punctuation and grammar in this post is terrible :-( Surely a ‘do’ of social media is to proof read before posting? X

  • Kelly L

    My pet peeves: 1.) when people post status updates from the ER! If you’re able to post a update about why you’re in the ER at the moment, your situation must not be that much of an “emergency.” 2.) Too many selfies or selfies w/ captions like “omg I’m so fat/ugly!” when that person is clearly fishing for compliments for their beauty.
    3.) Depresssing or b*tchy statuses. Please keep that to yourself. Don’t rain on my parade ;-)
    Thanks for being such a poised lady, Lauren :-)
    Love ya!

  • Kasey

    It always bothers me when people post pics of other’s special event before that person has had a chance. Like a guest at a wedding posting pics of the bride before the bride does. Always wait for the bride to post first! Or announcing how excited you are about your recently born grandson before the parents have made an announcement!

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