Ask Lauren: How Do I Meet Mr. Right?

Ask Lauren: How Do I Meet Mr. Right?

Today’s question comes from an anonymous member who sent me a private message. I think that a lot of you single ladies will be able to relate and I hope you find my advice in today’s Ask Lauren post helpful. Here goes…

I am having a hard time meeting new guys. I work a full time job Monday thru Friday, 9-5 and don’t have a lot of time to go out during the week. On the weekends I usually end up going out to the bars… and am starting to feel like it’s not really the best environment to meet my next potential boyfriend. Everyone (including myself) is pretty drunk and not really looking for a long term connection with someone rather more along the lines of a one night connection. Since you know LA pretty well, I was wondering if you could give me some advice on where to go to meet nice, smart, attractive guys with good jobs.

I was just having this conversation this morning over breakfast with some girlfriends. So many smart, beautiful girls with full time jobs struggle with where to meet a great guy. I think the best way to meet someone you are compatible with is doing something you really enjoy.

Now, when I say something that you enjoy I don’t mean shopping, visiting a farmers market or taking a cooking class. These are things that men do for women, but don’t necessarily enjoy doing by themselves. (Yes there are exceptions, but for the most part dudes aren’t waking up early on Sunday morning to pick up some organic kale chips and a juice.) Instead, try out activities that you enjoy and think a guy would like too. If you enjoy watching sports (you don’t have to be a fanatic) try a sports bar with a couple friends. If you enjoy music, a low-key show is a great place to meet a guy. If you like art then try finding local art shows to attend. The bottom line is, don’t drag yourself to places just to meet a guy. Do things that you love and hopefully you will find someone who can enjoy them with you. If nothing else you’ll have a great time until you find Mr. Right.

Do you have any suggestions for today’s question? Sound off in the comments below.

XO Lauren

Photo: Louis Vuitton via Small Shop Studio

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Categories: Ask Lauren, Lauren Conrad, Relationships
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  • Giulia De Luca

    That’s a really wise answer, I agree with you.
    For example I met my boyfriend at a school of dance where we had gone to learn caraibic dances. I went with my girlfirends and he went with a guy. We enjoyed ourselves all together and fell in love!

  • Melissa Panici

    Excellent advice Lauren!! I hope she meets Mr. Right soon:)

  • Deanne Castro

    Great advice!
    I am so happy to have met my Mr. Right!
    for more fashion and neauty advice, please check out my blog: http://myfashavenue.blogspot.ca
    Follow me on Twitter: @MyFashAvenue.
    Today’s topic: Steal Her Look For Less: Miranda Kerr

    xo,

    Deanne

  • Lily P.

    I agree with you Lauren,good advice!
    I met a really nice and cute guy in a bar that plays house music which I love!
    It’s a great option if you hang out in bars with certain music or concert nights,you can find a guy that is listening to the same music as you!

    xo Lily

    http://alltimeclas-chic.blogspot.gr/

  • Diamenrose

    Hey i agree with Lauren. I think on someday Mr.Right will be there. It shouldn’t be you who is searching him. It will happen spontaniously. Maybe in a time when you are not even thinking about a boyfriend anymore.
    He will stand behind your door and iwll turn everything up side down in your world :-)

    I wish you a lot of luck. Waiting is something good :)

  • Ambi s

    Great advice – you shouldn’t have to change yourself just to meet someone!

    LC fans, check out my blog for lots of beauty, fashon & lifestyle advice… I’ll shortly be doing a post on the best dresses for the holiday season and there’s already great tips on there for styling, weight loss and make-up to name but a few:

    http://www.bombayrose.co.uk

  • SarahJadeC

    Totally agree. A lot of my friends go to clubs and massive rave festivals to find someone special, and although you might find someone at these places, chances are you won’t! You’ve gotta accept that you don’t know where he/she is going to come from. I’ve had boyfriends I’ve met at train stations, through friends, the Internet and school, even a casino! But I’ve also had one nighters with men I’ve met through friends, the Internet and at clubs. I meet men in weird places, one was a worker on my neighbors roof, another walked past my house, another worked at a fuel station. Just the other day I exchanged numbers on the freeway driving 100kms p/h!! Haha. There really isn’t one place to find a guy! Also remember to have your standards as well, just because you meet at a romantic place, doesn’t mean that the relationship is going to be full of romance, be realistic!!
    Great entry Lauren, and I have to say I absolutely love your creative creations. My girlfriends and I watch it religiously! I will buy your books when I get some more cash!
    Take it easy!
    Sarah – 20, Melbourne, Australia

  • Deek Labelle

    I met my boyfriend at a softball tournament that I organized between friends. It was a fun tournament, for $10 and anyone could participate! We met, and it’s been a fairytale ever since. Because we met in a relaxed and fun setting, we really clicked because we both could relate to the same fun and have a great time. Also, because I was just expecting to meet friends and bring people together, I didn’t go there looking for love. Love found me!

  • Zeineb Abdelhedi

    thanks LC good advice
    lov you <3 <3 <3

  • Lindsey Gerstlauer

    I agree. It’s been very difficult to find an overall great guy, when you’re working a full-time job etc. I’m still trying to find Mr. Right, myself.

    I’ve tried online dating, and have met a few nice people but no one has actually stuck, yet. Has anyone else tried online dating? Thoughts?

    Some things, just take time :) Hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday!

  • Giselle Escamilla

    Great Advice Lauren!!
    Thank you:)

  • Casey Cohen

    I agree with this advice – sometimes it sounds corny, but joining a club or activity is a great way to meet people. You may not find “”the one”” on your first day of participating in some kind of hobby, but you’ll make new friends who share your interests. Through those new friends, you open yourself up to a bigger group of people who share certain interests and personality traits, and that can lead you to meeting a great guy.
    I would also say, don’t be afraid of online dating — don’t rely on it to meet your perfect match, but use it as a way to meet new people you might not have met otherwise. Be smart about it, and worst case scenario is you’ll end up on a few bad dates.

  • Sboz

    I met my husband at my job, but he didn’t work there. He came in to fix something and we only talked for a moment or two. Then the next day he came back on his day off and asked me out.

    Do you have any male/female friends that could introduce you to someone you might like? LC is right the best way to meet someone is to try some gender neutral activities and see what happens. You might even find something new you enjoy regardless of weather or not you meet a partner.

  • HLu28

    I met my boyfriend of over a year online. I know, online. The fact is, I’m a preschool teacher with little free time. I work with girls. Didn’t want to meet a guy at a bar. This was new for me and it worked. Just try something new and out of your “”norm””. If you are tired of waiting, you need to change something for a new result :)

  • Amanda Gongleski

    Definitely agree with the part about not dragging yourself places just to meet a guy! I learned that through past experiences of pretending to have a mutual interest just to gain his attention. Not only was it more work than fun, but it was also stressful trying to sound like I know what I’m talking about and worrying about him finding out that I was a total phony.

    I’m not sure if anyone else would be that silly as to do what I did… but just in case…. It’s not worth it!! It may work for a little, but how could it turn in to something serious or long-term if your whole relationship was based on a silly lie! Just be yourself! :)

  • Carla Santiago

    I met my husband at the Grove in LA. I remember the night before I was watching a positive psychology lecture by Tal Ben Shahar and he said learn to be positive and put yourself out there by smiling at strangers etc etc…so I did this exact thing the following day.

    5 years later, we are married with two kids, happily.

  • Mariella

    :( ohhhh where are you Romeo????!!!!!

  • Ashley Rizzardo
  • V

    NEVER GIVE UP and here is why… In 2009 I got single so I started going out with my single friends till they ALL found their Mr. Right except from me. I started going out dancing with my cousin (even to other cities) And I had the same idea that “”I WOUD NEVER FIND ANY BOYFRIEND MATERIAL AT A CLUB/BAR”” so I started losing my faith on finding someone till one night in 2011, when I least expected it I went dancing with my cousin and friends and this guy came from nowhere and started talking to me, after a few weeks we started dating (we never left the club together though, ONE NIGHT STANDS DO NOT LAST for me) and now Nov 2012 he’s been my boyfriend (and still is) for a year now.
    So my advice: DO NOT DISCARD ANY PLACE. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT: STOP LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT GUY AS HE WILL JUST POP FROM NOWHERE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. IT’S MURPHY’S LAW :D

    PS: sorry for my english… not my mother tongue.

  • Hannah Bryant

    I was wondering if you have any experience with the any of the beauty boxes, such as, Birchbox and the likes. I’m thinking about doing them for a few close friends for Christmas presents. Any insight?

  • Linh Ly

    my advice would be, don’t look for mr. right because usually when you are in a phase of looking every where for a boyfriend he never shows up, at least the guy you would consider the one. Just go out have fun, do things you love and eventually when the timing is right and it’s meant to be mr. right will be right there in front of you. = )

    linh
    http://befashionfit.blogspot.com

  • Brittany

    Hey Lauren ,
    I’m going on a blind date tomorrow with someone I met online!! I’m super nervous , kind of freaking out! Any tips on how to get by the meet and greet? How to keep the conversation steady?
    -freaking out!

  • Tara Beelitz

    Hey lauren,
    I’m from New Jersey the shore area and I know you once did a fundraiser for the mudslides in Laguna. How do I go about starting a fundraiser for the hurricane sandy victims? To see my state in shambles like this makes me want to do something for our beaches. Thank you so much:)

    Tara Beelitz

  • www.kayleesbridal.com

    It’s nice to see that some people still understand how to write a quality post.!
    http://www.ibridalgowns.ca/wedding-dresses-2012-26

  • Chelsea Underwood

    GO ONLINE!!! A lot of guys don’t have time to constantly be going on dates either (the guy I’m currently seeing who I met online works 6am-3pm and is a boy scout leader plus runs marathons. I know the online world can be a scary one, but there are some good guys out there. I recommend ok cupid. My friend and I have been on it since the middle of June. It’s great because you have to fill out questions before you fill out your profile. And not only can you message people but you can IM them when you are on at the same time. You can rate people an upload multiple photos of yourself.

    When it comes to dating, you NEED to put yourself out there, because love won’t come to you. You have to go in search for it. Good luck!

  • sam H.

    Good Morning Lauren :)

    my name is Samar but my friends calls me sam , i live in Dubai (united arab emirates ) but im lebanese, and i was wondering if you ship any of your clothing line to the middleeast because i really like it , so i was wondering how to get it.

    thank you Luaren and keep up your great work .

    Samar or Sam

  • sash

    hey lauren
    my name is sasha,I live in L.A. I really adore you because i think you are such a sweet girl and i wish you the best…
    KEEP UP YOUR GREAT WORK.
    XO SASHA

  • Rachelle

    I’m in the exact same predicament, but honestly I don’t do much about it.
    xo
    Rachelle
    http://pinksole.com

  • Rosie Waldherr

    I think this is a great advice!!! I used to look for Mr right everywhere and when I gave up I slowly started feeling comfortable and good in my own skin and on my own (meaning not “”needing”” a man to make me happy) and that’s when I met my boyfriend, out of the blue without any expectations! We started going out first as friends and now I’m more in love than I’ve ever been and he’s happy too! =D

    Bottom line, don’t force it! =D

    xoRosie
    http://teacupsanddresses.blogspot.com/

  • Christina

    Love this post! I go to this incredible, arty, eclectic church, so I am trying to get more involved, and I am hoping that one fruit of that is meeting a great guy who has the same beliefs and passions that I have!

    Also-what is up with all the advertising! Super annoying! lol ;)

  • Hark
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  • alex jones

    Really that is great and i would like to add bookmark. How you can manage or advertise it. You should keep it up..

    http://drsnooze.com

  • Amanda Nicklas

    I agree, working a full time job, especially in a new area like me, can make it hard to meet new people. But it makes it even harder to meet a new guy. I focus on things that I enjoy, and have met a lot of amazing people this way!

    http://amandajoyxo.blogspot.com/2012/11/life-tastes-better-spiked.html

  • Beauty to Sparkle

    Great advice! I believe you will find Mr.Right when you are not looking for him :) That’s the beauty of this world! Enjoy life and when the time comes you will find him!

    Check out my beauty and motivational blog to find out my thoughts on a cream eyeliner and what I did for Thanksgiving!
    Here is the link: http://www.beautytosparkle.blogspot.com/
    Thanks, Dina
    P.S. If you like what you see, please don’t forget to follow :)

  • www.kayleesbridal.com

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  • Stephanie A

    These days it is just way harder to find a right guy then twenty years ago. :-( Thanks to the internet, people are very un-social in real life.

    xx
    Stephanie (www.stephaniesstyleblog.blogspot.com)

  • maria_lcConrad

    Lauren you are so perfect <3

  • Shelly Wing

    Honestly, I have to say that the theory that “”you’ll find him when you’re not looking”” is antiquated. You may say you’re not looking, but, let’s get real…you still are. There’s nothing wrong with that. I was looking when I found my “”Mr. Right.”” I was looking hard.

    My advice? Don’t try to be interested in things you’re not; you can only keep up that facade for so long. I know that’s not what Lauren was saying though. Just be yourself. Do what you normally do, but make an effort to talk to people and really get to know them. You never know when someone you meet will have a friend, brother, cousin who really IS perfect for you.

    Don’t stop looking. Just don’t be desperate. And never, EVER settle. You deserve the best.

  • alex jones

    No clue for this time….LOL

    http://drsnooze.com

  • Lena Ameri

    I like that you mention that you should do things that you like to do- but also think of a way to make it guy friendly. This is a really helpful guide to falling in love with the right person, check it out and let me know what you think!

    Falling in Love With the RIGHT Person: http://www.liveitmag.com/how-to-fall-in-love-with-the-right-person/

  • Catie Smith

    Okay, you work for a living, and that’s perfectly fine! The week is for work, and school, etc. Weekends on the other hand are a time to go out on some dates! Instead of going out on the weekends and getting drunk, go on a date! my suggestion is ask your friends if they know any guys you would be interested in. Since you have no time during the week to search for Mr. Right, maybe try a dating site! Sometimes, dating sites aren’t some peoples things because, people could not be who they really are. Take a chance! Meet up with him! You never know he could be love of your life!

  • pamela felita

    Hello, i am pamela

    well, i am not living in LA. yet, i can imagine how’s the night life there. For sure, there’s no place that can guarantee you to find someone good. Maybe, there are some good guy there that you have not get along with.

    If you want someone who has good job, just look around at your work place. Maybe, there’s a coworker who also interested in you :)
    Sometimes love comes to you in unexpected place. good luck

    pamelakahar.blogspot.com

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  • Niccole Salomone

    what do you do if you think you have met “”mr. perfect”” but of course ruined it…
    how do you undo what you have done ?
    how do you get him back ?

  • xitlaliC

    I recommend you follow Eric Charles on facebook, he has amazing advice

  • NambaJuice

    I agree!

    Definitely try going online. I recommend match.com/eharmony. That’s how I met my guy and I have 3 different girlfriends with success stories using either one of these sites. The nice thing is you meet someone you might not normally meet and you get to preview them first… it’s almost like picking a guy out of a catalogue. You do have to pay a fee to use these sites but I think it’s better that way because then you know whoever is on the site is more serious and not just looking for a one night hookup but most likely something more. I’m sure sometimes some aren’t 100% completely honest about their description but honestly it’s worth a shot and you could end up meeting your man! I know I did… :)

  • Chastity Martin

    I have to say, I “”searched”” for years and found “”the love of my life”” at work, and knew the first time I saw him, “”he was the one””!!! (Even tho it took 3+ years)

  • Chastity Martin

    I have to say, I “”searched”” for years and found “”the love of my life”” at work, and knew the first time I saw him, “”he was the one””!!! (Even tho it took 3+ years to get together)

  • Chastity Martin

    I have to say, I “”searched”” for years and found “”the love of my life”” at work, and knew the first time I saw him, “”he was the one””!!! (Even tho it took 3+ years to get together)

  • Chastity Martin

    I have to say, I “”searched”” for years and found “”the love of my life”” at work, and knew the first time I saw him, “”he was the one””!!! (Even tho it took 3+ years to get together)

  • Chastity Martin

    I have to say, I “”searched”” for years and found “”the love of my life”” at work, and knew the first time I saw him, “”he was the one””!!! (Even tho it took 3+ years to get together)

  • Chastity Martin

    I have to say, I “”searched”” for years and found “”the love of my life”” at work, and knew the first time I saw him, “”he was the one””!!! (Even tho it took 3+ years to get together)

  • Funfundate

    Great advice, Lauren! There’s also another option: online dating! A lot of people have used online dating services to meet the right person for themselves. If you know exactly what type of guy you want, you should definitely give it a shot. Often times, people who didn’t have a great experience with online dating are those who didn’t really know what they want. :) Xo -Funfundate.com

  • Funfundate

    Great advice, Lauren! There’s also another option: online dating! A lot of people have used online dating services to meet the right person for themselves. If you know exactly what type of guy you want, you should definitely give it a shot. Often times, people who didn’t have a great experience with online dating are those who didn’t really know what they want. :) Xo -Funfundate.com

  • Funfundate

    Great advice, Lauren! There’s also another option: online dating! A lot of people have used online dating services to meet the right person for themselves. If you know exactly what type of guy you want, you should definitely give it a shot. Often times, people who didn’t have a great experience with online dating are those who didn’t really know what they want. :) Xo -Funfundate.com

  • Funfundate

    Great advice, Lauren! There’s also another option: online dating! A lot of people have used online dating services to meet the right person for themselves. If you know exactly what type of guy you want, you should definitely give it a shot. Often times, people who didn’t have a great experience with online dating are those who didn’t really know what they want. :) Xo -http://www.funfundate.com

  • seattle_fashion_2013

    Should I let the way that style determine whether or not I should pursue someone?
    How would you suggest for someone with a curvy/pear shaped body to dress for her first day of her sophomore year of college?

  • seattle_fashion_2013

    Should I let the way that style determine whether or not I should pursue someone?
    How would you suggest for someone with a curvy/pear shaped body to dress for her first day of her sophomore year of college?

  • seattle_fashion_2013

    Should I let the way that style determine whether or not I should pursue someone?
    How would you suggest for someone with a curvy/pear shaped body to dress for her first day of her sophomore year of college?

  • Carolyn Yang

    Awesome advice Lauren! I love your blogs!

    I can definitely relate to this blog. It is really hard to find a good guy to date and possibly have a relationship with. Its especially hard if your a single mother, like I am. That makes everything more difficult, but not completely. I’ve been divorced since 2008… and I have not had one relationship since. I have come close to having one 8 months ago but totally blew that one out of the water because I’m scared.

    I dont know if anyone will ever figure out how to successfully date, but I can certainly say that it is super fun figuring it out!!

    xoxo Carolyn

  • Carolyn Yang

    Awesome advice Lauren! I love your blogs!

    I can definitely relate to this blog. It is really hard to find a good guy to date and possibly have a relationship with. Its especially hard if your a single mother, like I am. That makes everything more difficult, but not completely. I’ve been divorced since 2008… and I have not had one relationship since. I have come close to having one 8 months ago but totally blew that one out of the water because I’m scared.

    I dont know if anyone will ever figure out how to successfully date, but I can certainly say that it is super fun figuring it out!!

    xoxo Carolyn

  • Carolyn Yang

    Awesome advice Lauren! I love your blogs!

    I can definitely relate to this blog. It is really hard to find a good guy to date and possibly have a relationship with. Its especially hard if your a single mother, like I am. That makes everything more difficult, but not completely. I’ve been divorced since 2008… and I have not had one relationship since. I have come close to having one 8 months ago but totally blew that one out of the water because I’m scared.

    I dont know if anyone will ever figure out how to successfully date, but I can certainly say that it is super fun figuring it out!!

    xoxo Carolyn

  • Raven Locks

    Great advice! I met my boyfriend when I wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend. I met him through a mutual friend, but we hit it off because we’re both HUGE muscle car fanatics and we’re both artists.

    I think that oftentimes, when you stop trying to find the right guy, he’ll usually find you. :)

    xo Azu

    http://www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

  • Raven Locks

    Great advice! I met my boyfriend when I wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend. I met him through a mutual friend, but we hit it off because we’re both HUGE muscle car fanatics and we’re both artists.

    I think that oftentimes, when you stop trying to find the right guy, he’ll usually find you. :)

    xo Azu

    http://www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

  • Raven Locks

    Great advice! I met my boyfriend when I wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend. I met him through a mutual friend, but we hit it off because we’re both HUGE muscle car fanatics and we’re both artists.

    I think that oftentimes, when you stop trying to find the right guy, he’ll usually find you. :)

    xo Azu

    http://www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

  • http://www.thesinglediaries.com/ The Single Diaries

    Hi! I moved to LA nearly 3 years ago and have to admit that I definitely found it challenging at first to find good guys to date. I’m happy to report that I’m not 1.5 years into a great relationship : ) You might enjoy reading an article I wrote for The Single Diaries- 10 Ways to Meet Mr. Right. I share the tips I picked up along my own journey to finding a great guy. Hope you find it helpful and best of luck!

    Jen Hacker
    The Single Diaries
    http://www.thesinglediaries.com/and-her-crew/10-effortless-ways-to-meet-mr-right/

  • Laura

    I’ve got to say, this is exactly what my now husband did when he first moved here. He figured he wouldn’t meet anyone in work (he’s an engineer – not many women in the field) so he decided to take up a hobby he used to have at university.

    We met in a salsa class a few years ago, and we married last November – honestly, it does work (you find a guy that you automatically have at least 1 thing in common with)

  • Julia Gerhardt

    If you aren’t terrified of going places alone, I would suggest trying to do that. Guys are so much more willing to approach a girl who is alone rather than with a group of girls. Plus you might be more open to different types of guys if your girlfriends aren’t around to judge.

  • M

    Never use the excuse of your too busy, that is just an excuse. If you’re keen then you’ll make time, whether it be for yourself or for someone. You can always make time.

    There’s loads of places were you can meet decent men, either via meetup groups online, networking events or social gatherings arranged through friends.

    But my suggestion is, if you have any interests or hobbies focus on those area’s. For example you might like out door activities like rock climbing,running, knitting etc. try and join one of those groups in your area, or even better try volunteering.

    • Michelle

      where is Lauren’s response to this letter/question?

  • Lindsay King

    I am an advocate for OkCupid. I know a lot of people have horror stories, but I made it work for me. First, I was honest in my pictures. I’m a bigger girl and I let that show. If he is gonna meet me in real life he will find out anyway. Second, I didn’t make it my mission. I had other things going on and if it happened great…that attitude helped a lot. Third, I messaged a guy who I perceived to be out of my league. I never thought he would like me…but three and a half years later we got married. It’s about keeping a positive attitude. I knew he was out there and that I would find him…I just made sure to enjoy myself in the meantime!

  • http://browneyedtwentysomething.wordpress.com/ Amanda Gernentz

    What I finally did was starting listening to my family. I wanted to meet someone and I was trying everything – even online dating! And nothing was working, nothing was working. One day, my dad came home and said that he and his buddy wanted me to meet his buddy’s nephew. I know, I know – it sounded crazy. But it worked! Said buddy’s nephew is now my fiance – sometimes the people in your life know better than you do!

  • Lau

    Good tips for all girls! :D

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