Ask Lauren: The Pre-College Breakup

Ask Lauren: The Pre-College Breakup

I received an overwhelming response to my first Ask Lauren post so this will be the first of many responses. Since today’s question was pulled from a message that was sent to me privately, she will remain anonymous. Today’s topic is a situation that a lot of women face at some point in their lives:

I’m 18 years old, and have been dating this guy off and on since mid-August. We were doing really well lately! I just had my Senior Prom and we had a lot of fun with all our friends both during and after prom. But this week he randomly stopped putting in an effort to talk to me. I was really upset over it, so I talked to him about it. He says that he doesn’t want to get back into the whole relationship thing again because we’re both going off to college in the fall. He basically said he wants to end it as being “best friends” who hangout a lot and still kiss and what not, but he doesn’t want me dating other guys. Do you think I’m just a fling? I don’t want to lose our friendship, but I don’t really want to be used as his “hook-up” either. I need some sort of advice.

I think this is a situation a lot of couples face when they are about to leave for school (or even a new job) and while it’s a hard spot to be in, it is nice that he is being honest with you. He isn’t leading you on or pretending to want something he doesn’t. He is communicating the type of relationship he is open to and that is exactly what you should do with him: Communicate the type of relation you want. Obviously this is someone you care about if you have been seeing him on and off for 10 months. So it’s possible that you won’t be happy in a non-committal and more casual relationship with him. If I were in your situation (and I have been before) I would really think about what I wanted and then communicate that to him. I know that sounds much easier than it is, but in the end, it’s always best to just be open. No relationship is perfect and everyone needs to do what is right for them, but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with me.

Do you have any other advice for our girl? If so, share your insights in the comments below.

I’ll be answering another one of your Ask Lauren questions soon…

XO Lauren

P.S. There are 3 ways you can submit your questions to me:

  1. You can also tweet me your questions with the hashtag #AskLauren.
  2. Leave your question in the comments below.
  3. Send me a private message via my profile page (there is a “Send Private Message” option located directly beneath my profile photo).

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Categories: Ask Lauren, Grow, Relationships
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  • Melissa Panici

    Excellent advice Lauren. I couldn’t have said it better:)

  • Stacie

    I disagree – if he doesn’t want to date you, but he doesn’t want you dating anyone else, he’s not being fair. You do need to think about what’s right for you and what you want, and communicate that to him. But beyond that, tell him you can be his friend or his girlfriend, but there’s no inbetween. If he just wants to “”kiss and what not”” you need to move on and not be used.

  • Laura Ledesma

    100 % agreed …!

  • Toby Younis

    Great advice Lauren, but I wanted to elaborate a bit more. I know plenty of people that went through the same situation you are going through, including me. My “”good friend”” at the time said the same thing your guy said as well. I openly told him that I wanted more, but he was reluctant to get into a relationship before we both left for college. I continued to hang out with him until I went away. Once I was at school I was so busy with school and new friends my communication with him decreased. Sure enough, this made him realize that he really did want me in his life. The next time I was home for fall break he officially asked me out. Some may say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and in this instance, it did. I have now graduated and am dating someone completely new. I wouldn’t regret my decisions because we were open about everything along the way, even though we weren’t quite on the same page at certain moments. I would also say that if things do not work out for you and your guy you need to keep your head up. You will be meeting so many new and interesting people once head to college, you will be forced to live it all up!

  • Laura Lokey

    Hello girls! I want to thank you all for your responses, especially Lauren. I am the mysterious college break up girl. I appreciate your advice so much! Sadly, the boy and I have recently cut ties…for now, at least. Timing really is everything, so we will see what the future holds for us. The advice is amazing and I will carry that with me from now on! Thank you so much! :)

  • Stephanie McDonnell

    I agree, be grateful he is honest and show him the same respect. Truthfully, if you want more from him and he doesn’t the want the same, the whole “”friendship”” just turns awkward.

    I will add that I don’t think it is very kind of him to say he doesn’t want a committed relationship with you, but that you can’t have one with anyone else. While his honesty is appreciated, non-committed is non-committed.

    The fact is, boys come and go. You have a college education you’ve set yourself up for, I would advise you to concentrate on that, make it your priority. And if along the way someone who wants the same relationship as you (or if he changes his mind and wants to be serious), then sweeten the pot you have with that romance.

  • Lauren Quaid

    I think the boy wants the freedom of being single and the perks of being in a relationship. He wants to date other people, but doesn’t want her to have the same freedoms.

    It’s not that he’s being a good guy for being honest and telling her up front that he doesn’t want a relationship, he’s being an unfeeling jerk by telling her that he wants to hook up but not be committed to her.

    Honey, there are lots of guys you’re going to meet in college, please don’t set your heart on this one, you’re better than that. If he wanted you, he would be with you.

  • Laura Lokey

    AMEN! You’re so right!

  • Rebekah Shaheen

    I personally think that he is being really unfair to you. He still wants to kiss you and see you but does not want to commit to you. I don’t think that that is showing you respect – you don’t want to be used. I think it’s good that you guys have cut ties right now. Take some time on your own and I think you will realize you don’t need his double standard friendship as much as you think you do. <3 xo Good Luck -R

  • Kimmy S

    I totally agree with you Lauren, but then again I guess it might be different for different situations. Nevertheless, I love these posts and I think your insights are really helpful. Xx

  • Beauty Diva

    Intrestig topic to talk about.

  • Chloee Griffiths

    i love this post so much, im in the same situation, me and my boyfriend have been on and off for 3 years now. this time it finally worked. well i thought. problem is it was long distance. he broke up with me on sunday, as he works at a holiday resort, and is going to be doing courses/training but he told me he just doesnt want a relationship, yet he wants me to still talk to him everyday and see him when he vists me…i just dont get how lads want you to still act like your together…yet they dont want you to be with them. -.- laurens advice has certainly opened my eyes to knowing that i shouldnt let myself be in this #open relationship# but be in the one i want and the person also wants.

  • bunnyboo

    ohhhhhhhhhh boys. honesty is wonderful, too bad it’s a get what they want or nothing deal though. : / I’ve learned that signle with my heart safe is better than the door open and my heart on the floor… just to have him around. And thank good for Sex and the City repeats! :)

  • Kelley {Keep Sitting Pretty}

    I say let him know that you’re not open to best friends that kiss if that’s not what you want. The fact that he doesn’t want you seeing other boys says to me that he wants the privileges of being a boyfriend, but not the responsibility of it. I have been in this situation and if you want him as a boyfriend and won’t be able to handle being anything less than a girlfriend, then be honest with yourself and him about. Any decision you make here may bring a little heartache, but the good news is you’ll be off at college soon starting a whole new life! That’s something to get excited about!

    XO Kelley

  • Megan Brabec

    … Are we kidding? He is a dick. He wants you to be committed to him by not dating other guys, but basically wants to go to college without the label of a relationship so that he can date other girls. Do not fall for that. It seems impossible now, but as soon as you start school it will be more clear. Freshman year is nuts, especially first semester, and you will be so busy and meet such great people that you will be able to see clearly how unfair he is being. Do not let him string you along. Seriously.

  • Tiffany Tam

    I’m probably reiterating what others have said, but that just means we’re right! He’s being incredibly selfish, he wants his cake and wants to eat it too. Telling you he wants to be in an open relationship means that he wants to be able to hook up with other girls but have you as a comfort and last resort as well. He’s made the excuse that you’re going off to college, but someone who really loves and cares for you would put in the effort to stay with you and not just make you an “”option.””

  • Brennen Menzie

    I’ve sooo been there, girl. My highschool boyfriend and I dated all throughout high school and when he left for college (he’s a year older than me), he decided he wanted to date other girls. At first, I was so hurt, but with the help of mutliple break-up playlists and many jam sessions with my girlfriends, I got over it. Trust me, college will show you there are PLENTY of guys who will appreciate you and want to have a relationship with you. In the meantime, appreciate this boy’s honesty and stock up on some in-your-face tunes! :)

  • Amanda OBrien

    I know this is rought, I’ve definitely been there. But the other posters are right- he is being selfish. You just have to know that if you demand to be treated with respect (by being honest with him and not allowing yourself to be his “”when he feels like it”” girl), then you’ll have guys falling all over you.

    Also, it may not seem real since you havent left for school yet, but I 100% guarantee- you will meet SO many new friends and SO many guys the first month even at college, he will feel like a distant memory.

  • Jennifer

    Coming from someone that had a very similar experience: I dated my ex for a year and then a few weeks before senior prom he freaked and broke up with me bc we are going to totally opposite ends of the country for college and have separate plans for the summer. I moved away for the summer and it has only been a week since I left. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am to be out of a relationship. Before I left I gave him a letter that I wrote explaining that I still love and care for him and that I hope we stay in touch and surprisingly that gave me all of the closure I needed. College is a time for new experiences. If it’s meant to be sometime down the road it will work out. You will never know if he’s really right for you unless you experience other relationships and learn more about yourself away from him. To be honest he sounds very similar to my ex who tried the friends with benefits things: selfish and immature.

  • Stephanie Johnson

    I have been in this same situation except I came home this summer after my first year at college and my ex decided that he wants to be with me while I’m home but can’t do the long distance thing, even though he calls me to share little news like getting an A on a test in his classes or just because he wants to share some new profound insight he had. He decided that we couldn’t be together when I left last year and I come back and he’s sweeter than ever. He just likes it when I’m around and can’t handle when I’m not.

  • ximena acum araya

    Hey Lauren, I’m Ximena form Chile, I wanna ask you something…

    I’ve been having so many problems with my 5 years boyfriend… he lied to me a lot, he kissed some girl in a party, he said that doesn’t mean anything… but now I can’t trust him…

    I don’t wan’t to break up with him, I love him, but I think is the best… I don’t know what to do… really… I do think I know what to do but I can’t.. I’ts so hard… I really love him, we talked but that wasn’t enough….I know that the right thing to do is break up…

    But it’s so hard!!!

  • Liz

    I went to college in a relationship and totally regret it! its the best time to be single you can grow and become yourself in those years and you can’t enjoy your time when your worrying about somebody else. be single your only young once.

  • Laura Lokey

    oh my goodness! honestly, thank you girls so much! the feedback and advice is incredible! it’s so good knowing that others can relate to me, and that i’m not the only girl out there going through this! i really do appreciate this so much <3 xo -Laura

  • kathy baichtal


    I read your post and I love your advice and wanted to add my thoughts. As the mother of 3 daughters ranging in age for 21-27, I have to say that every woman out there, regardless of her age, is worth so much more. Being honest is definitely the key, and that also means, being honest with yourself by looking at the type of relationship he wants and realizing that while he might want to be “”friends”” he also wants you to be committed to being an exclusive hookup buddy for the summer. That’s not love, respect, or something special. It’s called being used, and if you were my daughter, I’d tell you that while breaking it off will hurt, keeping your self respect and integrity is worth a whole lot more. If he wants to be friends, then be his friend and nothing more with no strings attached. He can’t have it both ways. Sorry Lauren, that was probably about a $1.50 worth, instead of 2 cents, but it’s so important for women everywhere to know it’s okay to embrace your value and to want more! XOXO

  • Anna Corbin

    I used to be in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I have been off and on for almost 2 years, same kinda thing – things would be really great then he’d go distant back and forth (can’t believe i dealt with it so long lol). But he is one of those guys that if maybe 2 stressful things are going on in his life, everything else is just too much to handle. I most of the time fell into that category because he didn’t feel he could handle the serious relationship. But like in the “”Ask Lauren”” post, he was straight up with what he wanted to do, and I had a lot going on myself and it would’ve been best not to get serious so I went a long with it. Fortunately mine turned out well, I was almost at my breaking point of doing the “”unexclusive”” relationship but he said still wanted me. Since then, he finally stepped up and told me he loved me and now we’ve been living together for almost 3 months. If he’s a guy you really care about and you know for sure that you guys have something, I would say to try and stick it out and see what happens. It will get rough like it did for me, but if you really care about him it’s all worth it. But if you don’t see yourself getting to that point with this guy, I wouldn’t try to keep it going. Plus long distance stuff can seriously suck if yall go away to college..been there too. Good luck!

  • Beanie B.

    I had this problem last year when my ex and I were leaving for college, but he didn’t communicate AT ALL. My advice for you is this: If he isn’t willing to try (And try HARD) he isn’t going to try and the pain really isn’t worth it. I think that you should let him know what you want, as Lauren said, and if he’s not cool with that, then you have bigger and better things ahead of you. Its gonna hurt to let him go but it will be better for you in the end.

  • Courtney Pierce

    I had my first boyfriend ever in college this past school year, and he broke up with me two weeks later, I was heartbroken for the first time ever.

  • Martin M

    May it is interesting for you to hear my thoughts about as a man. I think you should forget him. If he really loves you he would never do something like that to you. Be honest with him and talk to him about your feelings and what you want. Let him know about your thoughts and feelings. May it will influence what he is thinking. It would influence me if I would be him!! Greetings from Germany to you and good luck! XOXO :)

  • Lisa Elisabeth

    I started dating a guy about 2 months ago, he told me it was serious and I agreed. We saw each other a lot, 2 weeks ago he told me he wasnt serious and a day after he told me he missed me and he was… And then we were in a relationship and now.. 1 week after, he decided he just wants me as a “”temporarily chill buddy””.. he is going to travel around the world for 4 months so it might be the best but i am hurt… what should I tell him..?

  • Lisette Calderon

    well put :)

  • Cassandra Adams

    Does anyone know how to actually ask lauren a question? I’ve been trying to find it

  • Anna Estrin

    dont love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary and dont make anyone a priority who only makes you their option….

  • Angeles

    Omg girls!! if the guy tells you he doesnt want to be with you is because he genuely doesn’t want to be with you. If a guy is in love with you, you will be the most important thing in his life. At your age, you will meet lots of people so being stock with a guy who can’t make up his mind is just wasting your time. I know how love feels and you will feel it and when it is mutual it is the most beautiful thing, you will know. But if you don’t move on you will never know.

  • Alexandra Kiladjian

    Wow i so know how you feel! I had a very similar situation except my boyfriend left for college and I still wasnt done high school. I agree that you should just communicate the kind of realtionship you want. I wouldnt say yes to his suggestion because if you guys arent hooking up with other people in college then you might as well be dating, not putting a “”title”” on it might give girls at his school the wrong impression. What my ex and I did was that whenever we were home for vacation we would hookup but we have maintained staying best friends the past two years while hes been in utah and ive been in maine. its up to you but DONT be afraid to tell him how it is, if he refuses then hes not worth it. Hope that helps

  • Cassandra Adams

    Lisa- I would tell him that you think it is best to be friends. I dated a guy like that and I ended up getting really hurt because I had stronger feeling than he did. Unfortunately some guys can be wishy-washy and change their minds (a lot of times it is because they are afraid, afraid to commit, afraid to get hurt, afraid of the distance). Fear can cause them to break it off by saying that they weren’t into you or that they just see you as friends. In those cases unfortunately there is nothing you can do but if you really love this person I would tell them how you truely fear and see if you can find out if it is fear that is causing their actions. If you tell them how you feel it might change their mind, it might ease their fears

  • Astrid Delgado

    I have been there before! I had been dating the guy for 6 months and we went to each others proms. He had mentioned how it might be best to just take it until the summer, but we ended up staying together for the summer after he changed his mind. Things were going well and we were going to try to work it out, but then the first week we had started college (we went to different community colleges, but they were close to each other), I noticed he was starting to be a bit distant and when we had talked he talked about all the people he was meeting, especially girls. He also started talking about how he wanted to have the “”college experience”” and I knew then that we were not going to last long so I decided to ask him if he would rather date other girls than keep what we had and he made his choice, so we broke up. At first I felt a bit hurt, but after a week or so, we decided to continue being friends and I moved on by making new friends.

    Sometimes it’s tough, but don’t pretend to not see his warning. If you are ok with what he is asking, go for it, although in my experience it is better to just be friends, if possible, or move on, but don’t add hooking up to the equation

  • Jennifer Cherie

    Um hi. I havent read through any of the other comments but

    CMON!! The dude wants to be hook up buddies- NOT in a relationship- BUT doesnt want YOU to see anyone??

    Im sorry but a big BULLLLLSHIIIII* comes to my head.

    This guy wants to control you, get hookups in.. but have no comitment to you. Sounds like a huge jerk, and you sound like a smart girl who OBVIOUSLY deserves way more.

    If you want to stay his friend thats great! But DO NOT hook up with him. If he can get hookups without commitment he is NEVER going to commit. And it sounds like thats not what you want. If he really likes (or loves) you then he will commit after he sees what hes missing. and if he doesnt… his loss! I say start having fun! Go on some dates and be treated like a lady!

  • Astrid Delgado

    p.s. I met a guy I have now been with for 2+ years shortly a few months later lol

  • crazygurl

    I totally agree with Jennifer! I kept looking for the like button and then I remembered this isn’t Facebook… lol but seriously he’s asking you to stay single so he can hook up with you when he feels like it? And it’s great that he told you how he was feeling at all but still, you were the one who had to ask him about it because he couldn’t be a man and communicate with you.

    Moral of the story: You are a smart girl who DESERVES BETTER! There are so many more guys out there. Let this one go. Maybe he’ll realize how good he had it and come back. If not, there are always other guys out there who actually have a brain :)

  • lucy lou

    I agree that he is honestly communicating his feelings. And you are both going off to college- you will meet so many new people there and have so many experiences! It sounds like he still wants to stay BEST friends with you right now- personally I think that sounds amazing! You are too young to get serious yet- but as a post college girl I can tell you that more than a few of my friends are now married to high school sweethearts that they REMAINED GOOD FRIENDS with! If you like him hang out with him and enjoy it. If you like him so much and can’t cope with it being casual than it might be time to call it quits- especially if its going to lead you to act crazy (not that I have been there!). As for him not wanting you to see anyone else- if he is still seeing others , then he is a jerk. If neither of you are seeing others, but keeping it casual- it sounds like you might have a fun summer and time to get ready for all the FUN that you are about to have in COLLEGE—-soooo muuuuuch fuuuuuuun!!!!!

  • cindy cee

    my advice … dump his ass

  • Liene Auzaraja

    you are too young for getting upset about some boy. come on you are just 18 years old. don’t you wanna date other guys? enjoy life and relationships not suffer them. in college you will have a lot of guys. boys come and go! that’s just life.

  • Martine Kallemeijn

    Who is he to tell you what to do? Like he is the only one involved in this matter? No, of course not. Typically; not thinking about how you feel. You should tell him, either you like it or not. It will make everything clear for you and of course, every break-up is hard, but it is not worth your time and effort to stay in this “”relationship””. What is that kind of relationship, between either boyfriend and girlfriend or either bestfriends: hookups but without feelings involved… Like that is possible after 10 months relationship…….. It’s bull****. My advice: dump him and move on, how hard it sounds.. In college there will be lots of (intelligent) guys who are worth the effort!

  • Iris Johnson

    If she is going off to college perhaps it is better to leave this guy alone. I think we all had a guy we really liked (or thought we loved?) in high school and even the thought of trying to leave those feelings behind and find someone new in college seemed impossible. But it is the perfect opportunity to start anew and meet even more people! You really don’t realize what love is until you find it.

    I remember when my high school boyfriend and I broke up (he did the same thing to me as to our friend in the post!) I really thought there was no possible way I could ever feel as strongly for someone else as I did for him. However, college came around and we went our seperate ways and not long into my freshman year I met the man who I’m now about to marry. I thought I loved that high school boy, but I really had no idea what love even was until I met my fiance.

    Chin up, honey. Always remember that boys will come and go and break your heart but your girlfriends and your family aren’t going anywhere. I bet that silly boy doesn’t even realize who he is losing to the wide wonderful world of college!

  • Klaudia Runo

    Hey! I HAD to comment this! Girl, do not do the whole “”best friends”” and “”hook-up”” buddy thing. I’ve been there, done that. To me, it seems like you still care about this guy and spending time with him is okay, but hooking up is going to mean more to you than it does to him and it will hurt you A LOT. Trust me, I’ve done this with an ex for about a year and now when i look back on it, i feel so stupid but most of all, so used to the point where I can’t even stand to be around him. It’s hard to lose someone that was once so close to you and someone you share a lot of memories and someone that you know inside and out, but it’ll be a better outcome, i promise you this. So I would just stay friends but try not to hook up with him, it’s just a road to heartbreak. <3 Hope this helped!

  • Lisa Elisabeth

    -CassandraAdams Yes thank you, I told him, he is in love with me and I am with him but he is affraid that I will cheat, since he is going to travel… We have some kind of break and meet up in 2 weeks to see whats going to happen.. When hes back we might start dating again. Thankyou for your advice! :)

  • Lacie Blake

    I don’t neccessarily think that you are a fling or hookup, but stuck in the friend zone, which we have all been in unfortunately. Lauren has some great advice and I think you should go with it and tell him what you want. If he doesn’t want the same then he doesn’t deserve you!! Good luck to what you decide to do and I know everything will work out for the best :)

  • Tiffani Stuart

    I totally think she should cut off anything physical w/him. For one, even though he’s being honest now, she still had to approach him b/c he was going to take the Punk’s way out & just ignore her- had she not said anything. Second, if he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend anymore, he has NO say on who you date. He can’t have stipulations on your singleness!! WTF is he thinking? He’s wanting to have his cake & eat it, too! I feel bad that this girl is even considering this option!

    This is why so many of us get into sucky relationships. We [as women] have settled for far too much, as a whole. We can cry all we want about how men treat us poorly, but the fact of the matter is- we’ve accepted their poor treatment as status quo. By truly just being “”Best Friends”” with this guy, she’ll save herself a lot of heartache.

    As women, we tend to fantasize things in our head. We get comfortable– we might not have everything we want, but it still feels like we’re together, so I’m not going to press the issue. I said that to myself a lot, when I was younger, and I lost a lot of time on finding happiness with others. B/c while you’re in that position, you’re not allowing yourself to heal b/c things feel the same. All the while, your feelings continue or grow deeper & he’s off experiencing other girls… NOT A GOOD LOOK.You know that when he’s away at college, he’s with other girls- that was the ENTIRE reason he broke off your exclusive relationship. Let’s not forget, he’s the one taking a step back! Totally agree w/Lauren “”I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t want to be with me.”” It’s sooo not fair for him to ask you not to see other guys. Don’t fall for the double-standard, girl! You’re still young enough to save yourself a lot of heartache! Trust me, I’m 31yrs old, and I wish I had someone (like me, lol) to tell me not to settle for bs like this! Good luck, girl!

  • Irizarry Francheska

    Ok here I come:

    To this girl and to all girls:

    Please understand this: WHY R YOU WORRIED ABOUT A GUY AT YOUR AGE? Seriously focus on school, grades, fashion, in becoming someone that contribute in this country, think about how’s your dorm is gonna look. Is so frustrating to see babys looking for boyfriends.

    I’m 23 and Im enjoying my life, I’m traveling, blogging, janguing out with no problems with my girl friends at any hour with no one saying “”where are you, come here, is late and all that blah blah. ENJOY this stage of life because then, you girls are gonna regret it. A boyfriend is not necessary to feel alive.

    Enjoy first and then, look for a guy that is going to HONOR YOU AS A LADY, that you know thet threat his mother, grandman and sister well. A man that treaths a woman with disrespect is a mosquito singing a horrible song near your ears.

    Take your time to know a guy BEFORE you open up your heart and save tears and disgusting situations. A relationship is so gorgeous when both are mature, when both know each other well.

    • Bianca

      YES!!!!!!!!! I am 20, and feel the same way. People (both guys & girls) are constantly asking me why I’m single. It’s gotten so bad that I’m constantly coming up with new and different responses including but not limited too: “Because it’s better to be single than to be with the WRONG guy”, “Because I don’t try that hard to not be [single]” and to the question “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I like to say “Why do I need one?” It keeps life interesting.

  • Kathleen Kelly

    Personally, I think it’s crap that he told you he doesn’t want you dating other guys. It just all seems he’s creating a “”relationship”” at his convenience. You should never be someone’s convenience. If you wanna be all in, you deserve someone who always wants to be all in. And it doesn’t sound like that’s what he wants at all. I think you should end it all being “”best friends””, like he said, but not with all the physical bonuses. Unless you think you can handle all that. You’re about to head off to school, and it’s going to be such an adventure for you. So, don’t fret. Maybe this is your time to just be carefree, worry about yourself, and your friends and family. Then be able to be open to whatever when you leave for school. Good luck.

  • Taylor Hutmacher

    As mentioned before, it’s great to be honest with eachother. And you should just consider going off to college another break. You can date other guys and have fun living the college life, but if you’re both really special to eachother, you’ll find your way back. Good luck! <3

  • ashles

    Hey lauren, how long did it take you to grow your hair long again after you cut it short a few years ago?

  • Amy

    I saw this and I actually had a post college break up, and I came up with some tips with how to get over a break up.

  • Janie

    Lauren, I am wanting to do something new to my hair for the first time in a long time besides just getting low lights or something else in my blonde hair. I am looking into doing the ombre coloring with mine, but I’m just nervous about doing it. How did you decide to make the jump, and come spring would I just add highlights, or simply make the ombre lighter? Confused about the new hair style, please help!

  • annie

    dear lauren im seventeen years old and never had a boyfriend my friends say its because im am way to busy, because i work, go to school, run crosscountry, and am captain of my swim team, mixed with the fear of talking to people and being incredibly soft spoken, they say that im am a wimp.i use to be really confident but now i feel as if im just a face in the hall that nobody notices unless they smack into me. what should i do with college in a few months stay the same and be me or change to make my friends happy?

  • Shehza Shafeek

    Hey Lauren!I have a prom coming up and I have no idea what to where! I would like something that covers front and back, covers the shoulders and streches down to the floor. Any ideas? And I live in the UAE, just so that you know. Thx!

  • Aimee Major

    hi lauren i have an ask lauren question for you first of all your brilliant role model!! i am 25 and the last few years have been tough ive been through alot of mishaps losing friends going abit too wild and gaining pounds so quick i really want to get my act together start working on my future that being my career and my weight do you have any advice for proper weight loss?also i am a drama student in my final year but ive lost the passion for drama i am a writer and a fashion designer (not very good one) ive lost my motivation and im worried il end up a nobody :( thanks for being a inspiration for girls and women everywhere! aimee x

  • Mon’ique

    Hi lauren! I just want to say how humble I think you are and your such an inspirtation to all women out there! p.s I loved all your books! My question is – “”how do you confront a situation where your so called bestfriend starts talking about you behind your back but pretends that nothings happened”” Talking it out doesn’t seem to work as we both seem to avoid each other , most of the time…and to be honest i’m sick of being the one to fix it all. Any tips from you would be greatly appreciated.

    On another note! any tips – with boys ; talking to them …ect


  • Roxy Gonzalez

    Lauren, I just saw you on TMZ. First off, you look absolutely beautiful. Second, I LOVEEEEE the sunglasses you had on that day. Looks like you were at The Grove. I must know the brand and model number if you have. Thanks soooo much!!!


  • Meg

    Dear Lauren,

    6 months ago, I got dumped by a guy who was in the US Marines. I loved him dearly and more than anyone I’ve ever met before. He told me the reason why he left was because he couldn’t deal with the distance although we had already dealt with months and months of no communication what-so-ever. I was fine with that reason after a year of being together until I found out that there was another girl involved. He had been cheating on me for a while with another girl who just graduated high school this past year (I am a sophomore in college and my boyfriend is another year older than me-21). They started dating the day he broke up with me and he posted lots of pictures of the two of them together. Naturally, I was absolutely furious and very very hurt because I was by his side writing over 100+ letters to him for 3 months straight and then bought a plane ticket to see him graduate boot camp and flew to SC myself to see him graduate and missed classes! The worst part is, 6 months later, after already being cheated on and lied to, he is married to the girl he left me for. People keep trying to tell me he’s not worth my time and is a jerk, but I loved him to death and invested so much into our relationship. Is there anything you can tell me that may help me to get over him? I truly just want to move on because there’s no way we’re ever getting back together. Thanks!

  • Niccole Salomone

    long distance relationships are not good right?
    my frist boyfriend was in college but i had met him over summer i insisted that it wouldnt end up working out and that i knew what was good for him.. i regret everything and just need to be reasure that i was right and that they dont end up working out

    • Bianca

      LDRs CAN work out. I am in the military- every relationship lasting more than a few months that I have until I retire is or could become an LDR ver y quickly, at least for a little while. But I will say that it sounds like there is another, deeper issue at play here (trust, perhaps?) and might be a good reason for calling it quits. Do some soul searching, figure out if that’s the case. Go from there. Good luck! :)

  • Emily

    I know this has nothing to do with this topic at all. i was reading up on this because it may happen to me. But as far as im concerned were staying together and he wants to stay with me.
    But my question to you Lauren is, I have the worst case of ‘baby hairs’. It is so bad hairspray wont keep it down. I cant wear my hair up without people constantly trying to push it back to my head. I use lotion when I’m desperate and that only a temporary (as in 15 minutes) fix. I cant put a bobby pin in it because it will look tacky and the bobby pin doesn’t even keep them down. And even on my best day the only way I’m getting away with having my hair up is at work when i have to wear a visor. If i slick it to the other side it looks like i have a comb over because I have a callic right there. Please fix my hair problem! Thanks Emily

  • Kayla Rogers

    I have really bad baby hairs too! So whenever I’m want to put my hair up I actually use an old mascara brush and gel. I use a garnier fructis one, but I think any gel works well. I love using old mascara brushes for all kinds of this because if you just dab on some gel to the cleaned brush and then gently swipe it over where the baby hairs are it pushes them down but without it being super heavy. Just lightly brush it over your hair and voila! I hope this helps!! :D

  • Lauren Perry

    My boyfriend and I were together long distance for just over three years before I moved to move in with him. We’ve been living together for a year and a half now and I’m moving with him a 22 hour drive away from family so that he can get his PhD. I don’t see us ever breaking up. I do think, though, that long distance is a really important test of a relationship. If a relationship can’t survive long distance or if you really don’t think your relationship can’t survive long distance, there are some communication issues that need to be addressed and fixed before anyone really commits to that relationship (because all an LDR is is tons and tons of communication!).

  • Lauren Perry

    I should also probably mention that we met when I was in high school and he was already in college. And that beyond communication, it also takes a lot of trust.

  • GellyBeans

    I have a question for anyone who can give me help.

    I was dating this guy for 19 months. Was going great then all of a sudden he asked for a break. We figured things out and began to see each other again. About 6 weeks later, he said he needed space, and refused to talk to me for a month, and then finally, yet brutally, dumped me, and said that he never loved me etc.

    Since then, I have tried moving on, seeing counsellors etc and it seemed to be working, until he contacted me again. The contact usually lasts about a week, before he drops off the face of the earth for another 6 weeks. It was after the first contact since the ‘relationship’ ended, that i discovered that he had a new girlfriend, whom he started dating not even 8 weeks after dumping me. He has tried adding me on facebook, and gets me to have conversations with him, but i can’t do it, because it breaks my heart. Every time I begin to do better, it all comes crashing back down again because he decided I am worth talking to.

    But my question is: What can I do about it? And why would he be trying to keep in touch etc, when he has a girlfriend? Why would he want to? Why would he want to meet up with me, when I am his ex? WHY is he behaving like this???

  • Claire

    Im 17 and have been with the same guy since freshman year; he was my first everything. But do you think I’m missing out on my “”youth”” because I haven’t been with any other guy? Is it bad to go to college if Ive only kissed one guy and never had random hookups?

  • Stefie

    it’s unbelievable how many relationships have ended due to one of them or both of them going to different unis…

  • crystal lorree

    Poem ebook for sale – $6 …emo/pain/love/loss…

  • crystal lorree

    Poem ebook for sale – $6 … emo|pain|love|loss …

  • Adult Breakup

    I am going thru a break up right now and talking about the ups and downs

  • harrykelvin12

    My name is Miss Harry kelvin12,I live in Mexico,and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children. I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago,to the extent that she even packed her things away from me and my kids for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring her back,but all to no avail.I discussed it with a very good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster,and i quote.“There’s someone who can handle your situation,he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting,i will like you to contact him with his email,which is as follows.”okosisi Great Oracle Temple Solution”. I never believed in spell casting,but he convinced me and i had no choice than to follow his advice,because i never dreamt of loosing my lovely wife.And that’s how i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed with him and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my wife back a day i never believed,until when i got home,the next day,my wife called me to inform me that she was coming back…..So amazing!! That’s how i got my wife back through spell casting and our relationship was now stronger than how it was before.One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this,can always be solved by “okosisi Great Oracle Temple Solution”. So! my advice for you out there is to visit this same website,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back,to have a happy family.THANKS…. HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS :[email protected]. AS HIS POWERS ARE SO STRONG AND VERY EFFECTIVE AND HAS NO BAD EFFECT INSTEAD IT HAVE A VERY GOOD RESULT AFTER CASTING THE SPELL.



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